What not to wear

when flying

I have quite a few flight hours on my tally and I learn something new on every trip. One of the most annoying things is the waiting and going through customs. We’ve already discussed how to deal with the waiting so now it’s time to tell you how to get through security. By NOT wearing the following items you can make it a whole lot easier on yourself.

High heels

First of all, traveling in heels is not very chic. It’s just the rule. Besides your feet might swell when up in the air, very uncomfortable, just another good reason. Finally customs officers might consider your 6-inch stilettos as weapons so you’ll have to take them off and go through the gate pass, time-consuming and gross. I’ll come back to this later.

wedges

Wedges, are they allowed? No, they are not. Wedges are perfect for stashing cocaine, heroin, XTC or bombs. Well that’s what police officers say. Wedges have to go through the scanner another hassle and time-consuming. And time is money. You know the drill.

Hats

The hat must come off (equally ideal for hiding bombs) and your hair might get static, no one likes that. And if you have to put your hat in the baggage compartment it will crease and get dented. Another downer.

lots of jewelry

I was once in a phase when my arms were literally bangled, right up to the elbows. It was hip back then but getting through security was quite the drama. They all had to come off. I stood there shaking and pulling and everyone in line behind me stood there sighing; it just wasn’t pretty.

Bare legs

For the very reason that your shoes have to come off, you walking barefoot on a filthy floor, yuck. And because you’ll be seating your pretty soft bare tooshy on a gruesome airplane chair, acute mysophobia.

Extra pair of socks

When we flew from JFK to Schiphol we were standing 10 feet behind Eva Mendes. The Eva Mendes! First reaction: HOLY this woman is absurdly beautiful. But’s that not the issue here. Eva was wearing a dress and bare legs (if you are Eva Mendes this is fine because First Class chairs are clean) but she had to take off her shoes. She pulled a pair of big gray socks from her bag, which she pulled on before passing through the gate pass preventing her feet from walking on a floor the whole world had walked on before her.

oversized pants

Your belt has to come off and no matter how great your underwear looks (hopefully) you’ll be standing there exposed.