What women can learn from men

in regards to shopping

Last weekend I had the honor of shopping with a male friend of mine. A heterosexual male friend of mine might I add. Shopping is usually an activity I prefer doing alone and never ever would I go shopping for myself with a (hetero) male companion. Ladies, first of all think of what those poor souls have to endure and secondly, I can hardly think of anything more annoying than an impatient guy moaning and groaning while you try on the exact same dress for the thirtieth time just to make sure it really really does look good on you.

But when I flip it around, I have absolutely no problem joining a male buddy when he needs to buy a few new things and better yet, it’s a learning process that us nugatory and doubtful women can learn from. Take a look at the following few pointers (and let them sink in) and I promise, you will never find yourself crying in a changing room, buying dozens of summer dresses in the middle of winter (which is bound to happen if you don’t pay attention) and you will never again buy things you do not (I repeat: do not) need.

Lesson number 1

Think about what it is that you need, and buy it. The man in question needed a pair of pants, a shirt, a sweater and a jacket. And indeed, that is exactly what he bought. No more, no less.

Lesson number 2

When something is good, it’s great so buy it in every color. Did you find the perfect pair of jeans and they happen to be available in multitude of different washings? Buy them all. Without a shadow of doubt, he swiped his card and said bye bye to 800 euros, cause hey, “the fit was perfect right?” He definitely had a point.

Lesson number 3

Or buy them in the same color. My shopping accomplice found the perfect white t-shirt and instead of one, he bought about three of them.

Lesson number 4

Okay, so you know how normally people say “when in doubt, don’t do it”? Well don’t listen to them. When in doubt, DO do it. You can spend hours on end questioning whether or not that shirt might be a size too small and they no longer have it a size bigger, a man would just get it anyway. “It’ll all be fine. I can always return it if I want to.”

Lesson number 5

You need to have a clear idea of what your look is, and stick to it. Call it the Mark Zuckerberg effect if you’d like. Cause Mark always wears the exact same thing. Just like Barack Obama does and Steve Jobs did. There are so many other things in life you need to worry about so why worry about what’s in your closet? On Monday’s I can be extremely casual wearing boyfriend jeans and a sweater, to show up on the following Tuesday wearing insanely high heels and a short dress, and on Wednesday you’ll catch me sporting a high waisted skirt and knee length boots with carefully constructed sweaters and jackets. Man, what a hassle. Just go for one look and wear it day after day, that way, any time you set foot in a store you will know exactly what is and isn’t ‘you.’

Lesson number 6

Don’t let retail staff influence you. I’ve had times where I’ve spent half an hour in front of the mirror having the staff get me three different sizes of the same item, and out of pure guilt, I couldn’t leave the store empty handed after making them run around for me. “That’s such nonsense. You’re the one that’s paying you know” was the immediate response of my male friend and he makes an accurate point. So ignore your sense of guilt, and don’t be foisted. Reread lesson number 5 and you’ll know what you can pull off and what you can’t. So any time some super hip retail staff member comes running your way with a jacket that looks more like an oversized sleeping bag just say “sorry, it’s just not really my style.” Easy peasy, you’ll never leave a store with a bad buy ever again. Hurray!