5 x how to keep a secret
Apparently it’s historically predetermined that us females like to gossip. While our men were out slaying cows (or lions or whatever sort of mammals they ate back in the day), females were holding up the fort back home. And since we just don’t seem to have the manpower that they have, we stuck to philosophy. Hence the reason women would share important information with one another to help each other out. I swear I’m not making this up.
Whatever the reasoning may be, the female population has more of a you-didn’t-hear-it-from-me drive than men do. Although there might be a perfect explanation for it, it’s a trait I have that I often find uncanny and I can’t refrain from keeping certain things to myself. Therefore these secret-keeping-strategies.
- Think about the importance of reliability
It might seem really special if you get someone you like involved in a secret. Unconsciously you’re telling that other person how important they are to you by sharing a secret with them. But it can backfire. The other person might think you have a hard time keeping your lips sealed. And that is a perception you want to dodge.
- Think about how anyone can accidentally out themselves
The person you confide in is most likely going to share it too. And then that other person will share it. And so on and so on. Remember that. It’s safe to say everyone will share it with at least one other person. Even if you’ve found an extremely discreet person, they too might accidentally out it.
I remember once confiding in an old colleague that I was planning on quitting my job and although that person was always immensely discreet, my supervisor still noticed that something was up when she was overly nonchalant when I was asked whether I was still content at work.
- Keeping a secret is cooler
Alright look, sharing something fresh off the press can be fun. But having people find out you knew something long before it was out will put you in a better light. First of all, it shows you’re always first in the know and secondly, you are super discreet. Bonus points all around.
- Write it down
If it really is gnawing at you, then writing it down is an option you might want to consider. That’s what I tend to do when I’m really angry. I’ll send myself a text message with precisely that which I would want to say to the other person. Your initial urge will be out and then you can think rationally. Give it a try: once you’ve written it down, the urge to share it will dim. Just don’t forget to delete it afterwards.
- And if you want to share it anyway…
I can’t help it but I’m always curious as to whether, sorry for the somewhat macabre thought, people really do share all their secrets with you when you’re on your death bed. The information won’t be of any use once you’re gone anyway.
But okay, if you really can’t keep something to yourself and you want to share it than I would advise the following: don’t tell a woman. Opt for a man who really will keep his lips sealed.
The odds of not having the secret being leaked are best this way. Good luck!
