Fun & Famous
10 OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS ELLEN DEGENERES HAS EVER SAID
Ellen is hands down the funniest woman I know. Well, know, know… No, we’ve never met but I’ve spent quite the number of hours watching her and by doing so, I feel like we’ve built up some sort of a bond. This is starting to make me wonder if that’s how stalkers think and feel…
Anyway, if there was an Oscar for sarcasm, Ellen would have it on the mantel of her fireplace. And that’s why I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t introduce you to some of her funniest quotes at least once on Amayzine.
1. “Why don’t they give us things we can actually use? I don’t need a thinner phone. You know what I need? I need a tortilla chip that can support the weight of guacamole!”
2. “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.”
3. “My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The piña and the colada.”
4. “Just go up to somebody on the street and say “You’re it!” and just run away.”
5. “In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.”
6. “I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.”
7. “Never follow anyone else’s path, unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path”
8. “I was coming home from kindergarten – well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It’s good for a kid to know how to make gloves.”
9. “You are never too old to play. You are only too old for low-rise jeans.”
10. “Yeah [I’m thirty-six], but on the show I’m thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.”
This woman. Seriously. Ellen, I love you. Oh, and uh, check this out if you want to see some of the most hysterical moments from The Ellen Degeneres Show.
