Happy & Healthy

6 things you should never do

This week I had a couple of hours to spare so I dragged my laptop along with me to a local establishment to do something both useful (I still had two articles to type) and pleasant (order a glass of Chardonnay). Next to me were three charming yet slightly old ladies happily sipping away their Pimms. Any time any one of them laughed I could hear their dentures chatter. Very fitting was my first initial thought until one of them yelled out; “Can you imagine people finding us old?” Uh, yes my dear. You are old. Scratch that: you are exceedingly old.  And that’s when this list of things you should never do came about.

1. Talk about yourself as if you were still young

This one isn’t only meant for 92-year-old grandmas but it’s for those 50 year old women (I recently hear a 50 year old say that she still had the figure of a teenager. I don’t know when the last time was that she saw the body of a 19 year old but sorry, it didn’t look like hers), and myself included. I am twice the age of most of the people I work with. Don’t try to be like them. At least not if you don’t want to look like a fool…

2. Say that you feel as though your kid isn’t being challenged enough at school and show off their extremely high SAT scores

I’m thrilled for you that your offspring is such a brilliant kid, but there’s no need to gloat about it. This is almost just as bad as telling people how hard it is to be able to eat everything in the world and not gain a pound. There are people out there struggling with real problems and parents of kids who have a hard time at school or finding their voice in life. There is obviously nothing wrong with being proud of your child’s accomplishments, but just take others into account too.

3. Getting involved in marital altercations (or that of your friends)

A common mistake. They’re broken up, she’s using your shoulder to cry on, he might be too, you’re trying to meddle, they get back together, look for the malicious or cause of their rift and someone they end up with you and you’ve just lost not one, but two friends.

4. Order Pimms

If you order those, you are old. Very old. Okay, I guess it’s okay to order up until you turn twenty, but then you might as well order a bowl of vanilla custard.

5. React to unfriendly Facebook comments

I suck at this too, but all those agitating people who leave antagonistic Facebook messages just want attention. And to receive a reaction. When you reply to them, things only go downhill from there.  Don’t sit on your hands to try and avoid to write something back, just head to a place that doesn’t have wifi or where it is rude to play with your phone, find an isolation cell; anything. You anger will face in no time. As long as you DO NOT react.

6. Text a friend about another friend

And then accidentally send the text to the friend you were talking about. Been there, done that. Never doing it again.