Improve Your Life

Firing, being fired or leaving

How to keep it chic

“I’m done. I can’t do this anymore,” a woman who has been running a successful modeling agency for years recently said to me. “Call me a coward, but telling girls that I’m not going to extend their contracts is something my heart can’t handle.” I too have had to fire a fair share of people in my lifetime. It always made me feel sick to my stomach. Or gave me permanent rashes on my chin. I clearly recall having to say goodbye to an old colleague. A divorced, single mom. The Sunday before the day of the meeting I was at a playground with my kids and I could feel my stomach turn when I saw the daughter of the colleague in question eating ice cream with her dad.

Saying goodbye is painful. Even if you are one hundred precent sure you are making the right decision, even when you’re the one quitting  or you are firing someone else, it’s tough having to let someone know that the current situation isn’t working for you. However, there are tips to make it more bearable.

Don’t beat around the bush

I was once told that the magazine I was working for would cease and so I would ‘end up on the street.’ My supervisor started the conversation off very perky and lighthearted, gave me a dress for my newborn and then told me the magazine would be ending. Obviously she meant well, but the situation was still very odd. As much as a conversation like this sucks, don’t beat around the bush, start off with: “I have some unpleasant news…”

prepare yourself

This applies for both getting fired and quitting. The other person has a right to know what led to the decision. As an employer it’s compulsory that you give reasons for wanting to fire someone. It is often preferred to build up a file which I am not a huge advocate of doing – jotting down the reasons someone isn’t functioning within your company over the course of six months. However it is important that you can explain where your decision has come from so you have facts to back everything up. “You’re always late” is too abstract. If you can mention an exact number, you’ve built up a better case.

no room for negotiation

This too works in both cases. The decision has been made, so don’t try and persuade someone to keep you and not to fire you. It’s too late for that. Sometimes it’s a shame that people don’t inform you about their wishes and annoyances and then ‘suddenly’ have another job. Then it’s already too late to tempt them to stay by offering them a higher salary or more development opportunities. My tip: if you aren’t entirely happy, make it known. Then there’s room for change.

” In order to discover new oceans, one first has to lose sight of the shore “

stay chic

Evidently you’re going to be mad and upset that someone wants to bid farewell to you. But try and stick to the facts during your meeting. If you get fired, listen to what’s being said and don’t respond. Go home, talk about it with your loved ones, ask for feedback from a lawyer and see whether the proposal you’ve been given is fitting. Usually you can get a little more than what they offer. Better yet, the employer takes a counter proposal into account. Plus, this’ll show that you are a worthy negotiator who knows how to stick up for themselves. The same goes when you are negotiating a salary. Stay chic and think about whether or not hiring a lawyer is really necessary to help you get the outcome you want because a legal battle consumes a lot of time. And money.

say your goodbyes

Everyone deserves to have a proper goodbye from a company. Okay, maybe not that one intern, but other than that everyone deserves a goodbye. Plan something in on their very last day. If you delay it for a few weeks, odds are it’ll be somewhat uncomfortable. If you’re the only leaving, make sure you do something personal for everyone you are leaving behind. Write a personal card for your colleagues, fill an entire pot full of candy so that your entire department will think of you for a while, or do like my old publisher did: buy a Nespresso machine so that everyone will think of you when they grab a cup of coffee.

No one said saying goodbye would be easy but remember this: in order to discover new oceans, one first has to lose sight of the shore. It always hurts (being fired is even third place in the top five of the most profound events in someones life). You’ll wallow, but believe me, you’ll find something better afterwards.