Beauty
From careless to secure and from frugal to sexy
The 7 types of lotioners at the beach
Two weeks ago I was hanging out on the beach in Valencia and while I was there, I made sure to check out everyone who was baking in the sun around me. Especially the way everyone works with sunscreen. From people who walk around with a thick layer of SPF to people who look like they hardly ever put any lotion on at all. I kind of turned it into research to see what types of people are out there, and this is what I came up with.
The I-don’t-have-time-to-lotion lotioner
The temptations are high at the beach. You’ve always got the active bunch walking around sipping water out of coconuts, running in and out of the water, blowing up their inflatables and then evidently there are the bunch who run straight to the bar. Putting on sunscreen? Ain’t nobody got time for that. You smear it on quickly, seconds later you’re covered in sand which is sticking to your sunscreen because you’re just too impatient to let it all soak in. Shame.
The I-have-all-the-time-in-the-world-to-lotion lotioner
This bunch is the exact opposite of the latter. They always carry around an SPF 50, preferably set their alarm every two hours to make sure they re-lotion themselves as if their life depends on it. And honestly: this group is the smartest of them all.
The I-only-lotion-where-the-sun-shines lotioner
The sun always shines. Everywhere. But when you’ve got a tank top on, all you lotion in are your arms, and same goes for a strapless dress: all you do is the upper part of your body. Okay, perhaps some on the face too. But when you change into another outfit for the evening, you realize that you really should have done every inch of your body. Oops.
The I’ve-already-lotioned lotioner
That was me. Past tense. When I was younger I had no idea what rays of sunlight could do to your skin. And I was never in the mood to carry around the sunscreen bottles. I would make sure to smear myself in with lotion in the morning, and if anyone were to ask me if I had already put on sunscreen my response would be: ‘Already did it’. Not a lie per se, but also not the best move you can make.
The I-think-I’ll-get-tan-more-quickly-with-oils lotioner
Voilà, it’s your first day on the beach, you’ve got your bottle of oil in hand and ready to bake. Hoping that a few hours later you’ll be a couple of shades darker. So how disappointed are you when at the end of the day you end up looking like a lobster. Only to repeat the exact same thing the following day. Yes, oils might contain SPF and yes, they’re good for your skin. But does it protect you from the rays of sunshine? Nope.
The over-the-top lotioner
In countries like Australia, it makes sense. But in other areas of the world, it’s somewhat of a joke. People who walk around with a thick dose of sunblock on their nose and don’t bother to smear it out and so they parade around with what looks like a white mask on their face.
The oops-too-late lotioner
This is the lotioner (as I’ve decided to call everyone) who doesn’t smear anything on until they’re practically already peeling. In other words: sunburn. It isn’t until they start to feel their skin tingle and notice more of a tomato shade that they remember that it might be smart to put something on their skin. Well believe me: too late is too late.
