Happy & Healthy
THE ULTIMATE #LIFEHACK IS THE WORD NO
My entire life I’ve always used the word ‘yes’. Because I never want to disappoint anyone. I want people to like me. I want to be helpful. And cool. And fun. And strong. And good looking. And interesting. And well dressed. But I think those last few ones have absolutely nothing in common with what I want to get at. Anyways, it’s all about wanting people to like you. And I will/would go above and beyond for that. I’d rather pace myself at 1000 kilometers per hour than have to say the word ‘no’. Imagine not being liked? Imagine people thinking ‘oh no not her again’ when they see you? That feeling alone will make you want to book a one way trip to the nearest open window.
Check a handful of situations I found myself stuck in because I said ‘yes’ when really all I wanted to do was say ‘no’.
Saying YES to your boss when you meant NO: I worked about 40+ hours for two years because I always thought my boss would end up in the gutter if I didn’t help out. Work wise that is. All the while I had initially signed a contract to work four days a week. Anyways, I made myself believe working five days was what I wanted to do, and hard work never hurt anyone and money wise it was great and blah blah. Result: I ended up extremely unhappy, felt like I was in chains, not free to do what I wanted. Up to the point that I felt strained and all that was left to do was stick up for myself and let my boss know. And all he said was that he was happy I had stuck up for myself, and why not take on an intern. Like, wtf.
”Saying YES to that vague pushy friend when you meant NO’
Saying YES to your colleague when you meant NO: it happened quite regularly that on a Friday afternoon (when everyone was in their ‘almost weekend vibe’) that a colleague would have an ‘acute’ and ‘awful’ problem, when I still had a pile of work that had to be completed too.
Result: the colleague happily heading out the door at four thirty while I would have to stay at the office until an hour or 8 to try and complete everything while the cleaners were already mopping the floors.
Saying YES to that vague pushy friend when you meant NO: yes, no, of course I’ll head over to her side of the city while I’m nearly at the end of my pregnancy term and am starving. If I go into labor on the way it’s be fine. Then I’ll just give birth to my kid in the back of a car because you’re SO busy? And sure, I’ll bring along your groceries while I’m at it!
Result: stress, annoyance and utterly famished and drained and come to think of it, she never paid me back for the groceries.
There are a dozen other situations I can think of during which I said ‘yes’ when all I really ever meant was ‘no’. But now, people, now I’m going to quit it. I’m old enough. I’ve done it before. Hit my head far too often. Ignored my gut instinct one too many times. Spent too many insomniatic nights worried about things that I shouldn’t even be worried about. All you need is one moment in your life that’ll make you change your entire way of thinking (but if you’re lucky, you’re just a far better person at saying ‘no’). Admitted though, it’s still difficult. Bite your way through it. Freedom. Relaxation. And don’t forget: you’re the one who’s in control of your life.
