Fun & Famous

the weirdest thing i’ve heard all week

The foot injection

This entire week you can find me split between camping (well okay, I’m staying at a beach house with all amenities, but for a spoiled brat like myself this is pretty much the same as camping; needing coins to take a shower and walking to a nearby toilet carrying toilet paper under your arm) and the most luxurious lives of the New York upperclass. I am currently being com-plete-ly devoured by the book ‘Primates of Park Avenue’ in which the author Wednesday Martin describes the ’type’ of mothers that can be found in Park Avenue.

Which bag you need to carry around for example (like the Luggage Bag, the Nano Luggage Bag or the Trapeze Bag from Céline, the big Boy Bag from Chanel, the Evelyn, the little Jypsière or the Kelly cross body from Hèrmes or obviously a 30 or 35 centimeter Birkin) and where you need to workout (the cool moms go to SoulCycle, the tedious moms got to Physique 57 where they follow ballet beautiful classes).

”Not a problem, said the sales associate. We’ve got a solution for you.”

Luckily I knew most of this due to the field I work in. Until I reached page 158 in which the main character discovered a tear in one of the heels of the perfect pair of shoes she planned on wearing to a ‘girls night’ organized by one of the mightiest millionaires called Rebecca. Complete and utter panic. Understandable.

So she sprinted to Barneys to get her hands on a different pair to shoes. Which they obviously have, but those twelve centimeter heeled Louboutins (which were on sale and screaming her name) were so tight around her left toe that it would be impossible for her to survive an entire evening on them.

Not a problem, said the sales associate. We’ve got a solution for you. He would give her a list of podiatrists who could give her an injection that would allow her to run around in her Loubies the entire night. Seriously, comfort before fashion is so passé, in New York they know exactly how to make 12 centimeter heels feel like a pair of sneakers. I’m gobsmacked. And fascinated. I can’t help but secretly wonder if this injection is available in the Netherlands (yes, I seriously contemplated it). I know I’m supposed to think this is extremely moronic, but if I’m being completely honest, I desire a shot like this three times a week. At least. How about you?