Fun & Famous

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK AND YOU GO ONLINE SHOPPING

Yes guys! Once again, I found myself drunk. Obviously I would like to apologize, but why should I pretend like it never happened? Besides, the word drunk has already been written in the title. Anyways, whisky was once again the bad guy. It has a way of making you drink more then you’d realize (okay not entirely unaware of how much). Plus I had beautiful crystal whisky glasses and I looked (to start off) good with one hanging from my lip, so I was unable to quit it, just like Facebook. But what I want to say is: I just had a lot of money transferred to my bank account and that’s why while I was drinking, I was also doing a lot of online shopping. You know the ritual: swipe, swipe, shop, shop, fill in the address, fill in my bank account info, and voilaaaaa bring me that shit after I take another sip. But now I’ve learned, it’s got both it’s pro’s and con’s. Here they are.

PRO drunk online shopping

1. A few days after your online shop sesh, a wonderful pile of surprises land on your doorstep consisting of things you’ve most likely forgotten about. All I can tell you: FAIRYTALE.

2. Best of all might be that you’ve probably shopped at various online webshops which means everything will be delivered on different days so you’ll have a week in which you’ll be surprised with a package on your doorstep every day. Is it the pants? Is it the shoes? Is it a dress? Oh, it’s a dress. Two dresses! Three dresses! It’s a wonderful little riddle, let me tell you.

3. You buy things you normally find way too expensive because when you’re drunk, one hundred euros feels more like ten, right? Which is fine, sometimes you have to just do what the heart wants and ignore the price tags.

4. I’m not quite sure whether this is a pro or a con, but when you’re not sober, you have a tendency to buy things you’d never buy if you were sober. I recently ordered the Levi’s 501 Time Gone By, you know, the high fit with one of those nineties asses. I still have to see when I’m going to wear it, but I’ve got it and that’s the first important step to getting that nineties ass which is apparently very in this summer.

CON drunk online shopping

1. You have to pay really good attention to make sure you don’t buy the same pair of pants twice because when you’re drunk, you might not be able to see which number you’ve marked down. Speaking from experience.

2. And oh, this one is bad too. I had forgotten that in my mailbox I had a personal shopping link so that I could shop with a 30 percent discount. I was too drunk to remember so I paid the full deal. As soon as I had figured out what I had done, I realized: the world is awful.

3. Look, as fun as it might be to go online shopping when you’re drunk: you still have to be able to eat (principally). My bank balance changed from +1200 to -249,95 in two hours time. And I can tell you, my bank only lets me go to -250, and nowadays it’s impossible to buy something for 5 cents.

4. Think of all the commotion that will arise when half of the things don’t even fit and so you have to send all of it back. It’s been a week since my drunk shopping debacle and I’m still surrounded by boxes, my god, it’s like I just moved to a new house. And that was that. As you can see it’s 4 against 4. It’s practically rocket science. Now it’s up to you whether you want to online shop drunk. Good luck.