These Zodiac Signs Really Can’t Handle a Hangover
Earlier this week, I wrote about which zodiac signs handle a hangover like champions (as you can read in this article), but we also have to be honest about the other half. Because yes, some zodiac signs are just as lively on a Saturday morning as a wilting houseplant. And now that it’s summer, with drinks, garden parties, terrace wines, and beach bar evenings quickly following one another, it’s becoming painfully clear: these zodiac signs really can’t handle a hangover.
1. Virgo – The Under-the-Cover-Hider
If you were hoping to do something with a Virgo the day after a rosé night, let it go. The Virgo will disappear under a blanket, surrounded by crackers, Diet Coke, and episodes of *Gossip Girl*. You won’t get a response to your message unless it’s a meme about self-pity, then maybe. Try again tomorrow — maybe.
2. Cancer – The Emotional Rollercoaster
Cancers feel everything. Always. But with a hangover? Then all *the* emotions come pouring out. From tears during a commercial to deep soul-searching about life while watching an episode of *Friends*. If you’re lucky, the day will end with a meditation app and chamomile tea. If you’re unlucky, it will end with another crying session and a rant about the meaning of life.
3. Libra – The Brunch-and-Then-What-Else Person
The Libra is the most dangerous of the bunch: they firmly believe in the *hair of the dog* approach. So, off they go in their best outfit to a bottomless brunch, happily sipping on mimosas. And yes, it’s fun, but also a bit unwise, especially after already having had three too many glasses the day before.
4. Pisces – The Dreamy Dropout
Pisces already struggle enough with reality, but a hangover makes everything even more elusive. They disappear into their bubble, turn on a melancholic playlist, and are only available for a cappuccino and a croissant (these are the best croissants in Paris, by the way). Ideally in bed. In silence.
5. Capricorn – The Stubborn Go-Getter (Who Eventually Crashes)
Capricorns simply refuse to admit they can have a hangover. So, they get up at 8:00 AM, sharp as a tack, and head to the gym (these are May’s gym irritations) or do the week’s grocery shopping. Until halfway down the aisle at the supermarket, they faint from nausea. Maybe they should just sit down. Or lie down.
6. Scorpio – The Overthinker
Scorpios are especially busy in their heads with a hangover: What did I say yesterday? What did that one look from my ex mean? Should I have stopped after glass four? They analyze, ruminate, and dramatize everything — and it doesn’t make the hangover any better. Only once they’ve mentally punished themselves are they allowed to relax a little.
7. Taurus – The Comfort Food Eater
Tauruses feel terrible but know exactly what works: comfort food. Think pizza, cheese sticks, loaded fries, and liters of cola. They wrap themselves in a burrito blanket and binge-watch an entire season. Hangover? Yes. But in style.
Small Tip for Everyone Dealing with Hangover Woes This Summer
Drink a glass of water between each drink (yes, really), and try a packet of ORS when you get home. It works like a charm. Or just take it from your zodiac sign and plan the next morning off. A brunch date sounds fun, but your couch and a bowl of noodles might just be a better idea.
Summer 2025 is in full swing, and if you belong to the sensitive, overthinking, brunching, or crying zodiac signs: you’re not alone. Plan smart, drink wiser, and blame it all on the moon.
