NEVER GOING HOME AGAIN

As I type this and see my somewhat shaky hands moving over the keyboard, my eye is mainly drawn to my wrist, where three VIP wristbands are proudly displayed that granted access to the best night of my life: the EMAs, and the afterparties. A night where I became a forever fan of Miley and Katy and stumbled from afterparty to afterparty in 12 cm heels and glitter pants. Eventually, I rolled into bed at 06:00, dizzy from all the impressions.

You may have noticed, yesterday the Amsterdam Ziggo Dome was the international stage for the MTV EMAs. For weeks, my friend and I who were supposed to go there have been texting each other hysterical I CAN'T WAIT messages, and the built-up expectations were more than met. There was Katy Perry who was hanging in the middle of the Ziggo (yes really, hanging) dressed in a sort of disco ball which created a fantastic light effect. Of course, there was also Miley Cyrus, who opened the evening in a silver latex dress, together with a dwarf (yes really, a dwarf) in a black matching latex suit. There was Robin Thicke who sang Blurred Lines with a dozen body-painted but otherwise naked (yes really, naked) dancers, and there was Bruno Mars who had a practically naked pole dancer on stage throughout his entire performance (yes, really).

And then of course the question, what were people wearing? Well, not much at all. The dress code dress code was ‘Out of This World Fun Party Alien’ and that is, to be fair, also a particularly complicated assignment. Iggy Azalea wore a dress by Dilek Hanif Couture with an extremely high slit (so high that we saw more of Iggy than we had wanted). Miley wore a nearly invisible tiny dress and knee-high boots by Tom Ford, Ellie Goulding opted for a lace and thus transparent dress by Dolce & Gabbana with practically nothing underneath, and the host Redfoo quickly decided that the suit he was wearing could just as well come off completely and pranced around the stage in nothing more than a small glitter thong.

The DRESS CODE was ‘Out of This World Fun Party Alien’ and that is, to be fair, also a particularly COMPLICATED assignment.

But, as R. Kelly sang, after the show it’s the afterparty. When the awards were handed out and the Ziggo emptied, we headed towards the city with high hopes. Through connections, we managed to get into the Jimmy Woo, where the afterparty of Robin Thicke was taking place. But it was quite disappointing there and moreover, the real party was at Paradiso, at the official MTV afterparty. After a failed attempt to bluff our way in there (we thought our Ziggo VIP wristband would get us in everywhere, but the ten burly bouncers thought differently) it seemed like the evening was completely falling apart. Just when we were about to accept our loss and head home, someone whispered to us, “do you want to come in?” It was a big man with a wild beard, who introduced himself as Michel, and pulled an envelope full of wristbands from his inner pocket. The bouncers stepped aside and we could go in, to climb on stage and stay there until dawn. With the risk of sounding like an old lady, I haven't danced so endlessly long in ages.

With barely five hours of sleep behind me, I am extraordinarily slow today, my legs feel like overcooked spaghetti and my ears are still ringing from the loud decibels. But I am happy. And I finally know what I want to be when I grow up; a pop star.