This is how you escape those Christmas obligations
IN 5 STEPS
In August, Gwyneth Paltrow already asked Jennifer Lawrence if she and Chris Martin (that's Gwyneth's ex) wanted to celebrate Christmas in the house where Gwyn and Chris used to play house together. That was indeed a typical case of ‘awkward’. You probably haven't experienced anything quite like that, but now that we are halfway through November, the question “So, what are you guys doing for Christmas?” is already being asked occasionally.”
Now, it could very well be that you have the nicest mother-in-law on earth and would love nothing more than to hop from breakfast to brunch to drinks to dinner, but almost everyone I know prefers to dive into a soft bed on December 24th with wine, chocolate, and a meter of series on your nightstand and next to the most wonderful man in the world.
There is good news. You can escape those obligations. But you need to act quickly. I'm here to help; I have experience.
Be honest
Lying is not nice, not chic, always comes out, and moreover, it's bad for your karma. Don't say that you have booked a weekend in Paris while you are actually just going out with friends.
Act in time
It's important to get ahead of the most Christmas-crazy mother-in-law, aunt, neighbor, or whoever. If someone invites you, you're actually already too late. You need to call now (so tonight) and ask if there has been any thought about Christmas. Probably not, and the attentive mother-in-law/aunt/whomever will ask concerned: “Why?”
Now switch gears. You say that you've worked so hard lately and are actually a bit dreading going from one place to another again at Christmas. Buying gifts, having to make dishes. Say that you have always really enjoyed it (now you can lie a little for me) but that they can't make you happier with a Christmas off.
Offer an alternative
Because immediately canceling everything is particularly unfriendly, you need to come up with a sweetener right away. “That's why I thought to invite you all for a brunch the weekend before Christmas.” That's what you say. Or you organize a boat trip with everyone. The Amsterdam canals, for example, are beautifully lit.
When you are together ‘on an adventure’ and doing something, the chance of complicated discussions or bringing up old grievances is the smallest.
Bet that the hostess would really appreciate being pampered for once? My experience is that when you honestly say you don't feel like sitting around and giving attention during the actual days, everyone seems to breathe again and looks six kilos lighter.
Approach Christmas well
Because it can be quite shocking for many parents and especially mothers-in-law that you prefer a bit of us-time this year, it is very important to provide some aftercare on that day itself. Call them right away to wish them a merry Christmas.
Send an extra digital card or keep them close by sending a WhatsApp message of your Christmas bed or the table full of takeout Chinese boxes. If people can stay close to you, they understand you better. And if they don't understand you, at least they know it doesn't have anything to do with them personally but that you just don't want any obligations for a while.
Go away
That is of course the very best tip. Book a trip abroad. Leave around the 23rdst and return around January 7th. You are free from everything.
The only thing is that you won't be raising anyone with this; people will think it's an exception, and next year it will be the same - Christmas song again. So if you want to change, you have to bite the bullet.
It might be a bit difficult now, but oh, how grateful you will be to me later.
How I celebrate my Christmas, you want to know? My parents are abroad (which is also a serious option; motivating others to take a trip), and I see my in-laws and cousins very happily a few days before in the Christmas circus in Carré. At Christmas, we are all at home because that's what we all find the nicest, and the best part is that we can honestly say that to each other. Amen.
