DRAGON OF A WEDDING DRESS

One of the major annoyances in my life (and you know, I have quite a few) is that women en masse choose a strapless wedding dress. It is an incredibly strange phenomenon that women immediately associate the word ‘wedding’ with ‘strapless.’ No other occasion produces as many strapless dresses as a wedding day, and that is a bad thing. The problem with strapless dresses is that 130% of the women who wear them actually can't pull it off. Everything hangs and drapes over the edge, and if you don't have arms like Michelle Obama, it's just never a good idea.

But in any case, wedding dresses are a very easy way to create a total disaster. “Trendy women turn into kitschy princesses on their wedding day. Why?” asked De Volkskrant this past weekend. Journalist Bregje Lampje seeks to answer the question of why so many women lose their good taste when it comes to their wedding dress and brings several interesting theories to light.

To begin with, the big difference between fashion and weddings is that fashion is about “the shape, the cut, and the material, and really good fashion is surprising and artistic. With the wedding dress, the rules seem to be reversed, because in bridal fashion, tradition, repetition, clichés, and, apparently, boasting count.” A wedding dress must be romantic, it comes with traditions, family history, and more of that sort. “Traditions and clichés provide a sense of security,” writes Lampe, and that is another thing, because who dares to choose an extravagant piece on The Day that might completely miss the mark. Moreover, unless you end up in a miserable divorce, you will look back at photos of the day your whole life, and an enormous fashionable piece that is incredibly of the moment will always remain of the moment and might become a huge thorn in your side in 10 years. On top of that, you want to stand out on your wedding day. All eyes on the bride cannot be achieved in a subtle white dress.

All in all, I find it a fascinating issue. Especially programs like Say Yes To The Dress clearly show that taste regarding wedding dresses is hard to find. One grotesque monstrosity after another with glitter, feathers, sequins, beads, and who knows what else is pulled out of the closet. And always strapless, of course. I don't know if future brides are reading along, but for God's sake, promise me, do not marry in strapless. Just don't do it. Thank you in advance.