FORGET BOTOX, ALL ABOUT THE BATWING

The angry dream of every almost overripe Hollywood star. Perhaps also of the ordinary person, although we wear fewer sleeveless tops and strapless gowns. The flabby upper arm. According to many stylists, you can't actually wear a sleeveless top after, say, eighteen years old, but there is hope in scary upper arm days; the batwing.

What does it do?

The batwing surgery removes fat from your upper arm and tightens the excess skin. Imagine drawing a clock under your armpit and turning the clock from ten to two o'clock. Got it? This makes your skin twist ultra-tight and gives your breasts an instant free upgrade as a side effect.

Who does it?

The most famous celebrity balancing somewhere between being extremely overweight and calling the surgeon is Jennifer Aniston. The poor child had to gain some weight for her role in Cake and now doesn't feel so comfortable in her red carpet nothing outfits. Moreover, Jen has been fantasizing about fresh breasts for years but is afraid of the scars it might leave. This treatment hits two upper arms and two breasts in one go.

Away from the paparazzi

How do you do that as an A-lister? Avoid hungry paparazzi and still visit the surgeon? No worries. On Rodeo Drive, surgeons like Mark Norfolk or Dr. Lancer (who ‘does’ Kim Kardashian and Beyonce) simply roll out the carpet for you at 4:00 AM. No lens on the street, and by the time the photographers wake up, you’re already home. With tight upper arms and perky breasts for that matter.

What does it cost?

Think of a solid €5000 and you're always good.