BEYONCÉ REPORT

Last month I wrote a piece about my great role model, idol, support and mainstay, rock in the surf or whatever. Beyoncé. On Tuesday I got to see her in person. With a little bit of tension, to be honest, with nerves racing through my body, my dearest friend Lies and her little brother Ties (we've also been to see Usher together once. Sigh.) spent this whole week hammering B's songs into our heads.

I put on my Beyonce sweater, super warm, but I was willing to do that and Lies had a custom-made T-shirt. All in the hope that Queen B would catch a glimpse of us. As the very first. We were late. Really late. Don't ask me why, dawdling, nerves, rain, subway. Something like that.

Somehow I often manage to cause a commotion at a concert. I always stand, ALWAYS in someone's way (I'm quite tall). And okay, I have to admit, it's not nice when I walk in late and block the view of someone who's been waiting for four hours. My neighbor made that very clear to me. I still have pain in my ear from her screaming. She got her way, wriggled back in front of me and the show began.

Beyonce, you are so good, beautiful and you can dance un-be-liev-ably well. Your outfits were all smashing, full of glitter, incredibly sexy. The video footage, your lyrics, your wisdom hits me hard. How I would love to be you for just a moment. Your red sequin dress by Tom Ford is to die for. And all those short shorts you wear, I would have to do a trillion squats before I dare to appear in something like that.

But I would also love to call you just to ask how you are doing. I have sung along hysterically loud to all your songs and I don't want to say that I have a good voice, but I have the feeling that it wasn't really your day. Is that possible? And your face looked so tired, as if you weren't really there. You are stunning anyway, but I feel like you might need a mini vacation. And then lastly? And forgive me if I'm wrong, because again you are amazing, but is there perhaps a Blue Ivy number two on the way? Because did I see a slight swelling there?

Oh, I actually already regret bringing all this up in my head. B, I am your biggest fan. Friends forgive each other an off day after all.