Let me start with the following: a woman should dress for herself and never purely and solely for a man. My feminist upbringing is impossible to suppress here because I really get blood nervous from women who think about whether the man they want to impress at that moment can also appreciate the purchase of the piece. You have to wear it, not him? “Yes, but he has to look at it,” they say, and then you get a discussion that usually makes me roll my eyes and ultimately wave away. But, even I believe that you should make a bit of an effort for your (potential) partner, and a pretty crucial moment is, I think, The First Date. That is also central in this Explorer: what do you wear on the first date and, above all, what do you not wear? I scoured the internet but also did in-depth research among my male friends and came to enlightening answers.

This is what the man says

Of course, you don't wear UGGS. You definitely don't wear those anyway but especially not on a date. “I associate UGGS very much with Good Times Bad Times. Girls who watch that also often wear UGGS,” was said, and I think you don't want to be a GTST girl. Furthermore, in the shoe department, the sneaker wedges are also not welcomed with open arms. “Girls who can't choose between heels and Nikes. That's been going on for about two years now, and I've never understood it. If someone walks up wearing those, that's reason enough for me to say ‘okay fine, you pay for the drinks and I'm out of here.’ I really can't stand it.” The shoes you wear are remarkably important, as my panel shows. “She can wear a garbage bag for all I care, as long as she wears high heels underneath, it's totally fine. If Mrs. UGGS or those sneakers with a heel are on, then we turn around.” Note, all of this comes from different men.

Then regarding clothing. You saw it coming: the harem pants. “Such a poop pants! With a very low crotch! Not exciting at all. Those are worn by the mothers who live in IJburg, like, well, I've given birth and I'm done now.” What the man also doesn't want to see is “leftist second-hand junk. Kind of a make-up to bring in cheap crap into the house. Just typing this gives me a rage attack.” This is a frequently heard objection; almost everything that comes from Episode or Zipper is only rated medium. Another friend went off about jeans with all sorts of weird washes. “Just wear a normal fit, not over the top. Just like jeans were originally meant to be.”

But be careful, don't overdo it with tight dresses and a big bosom. “It shouldn't look like I've paid to go on a date with the lady. So low necklines, shorts that look like a belt, or your brightly colored bra under that sheer top really don't need to be there for me.” On the other hand, you also shouldn't completely hide yourself; it’s quite a fine line. “Be proud. My friends and I are really annoyed by the current cover-up technique.” Personally, I advocate for: a dose of common sense and a critical honest friend who has your best interests at heart.

But what then?

Femininity! Dresses! Skirts! Nice heels! Actually, anything they can't wear themselves, with exceptions. Colorful clothing is also a go (“we have a date and not a job interview, so leave that boring gray and black at home or in the office”). Show that you have feminine shapes. It doesn't have to be a Hervé Leger dress but the Céline-ish boxy look is nothing for men. And, often heard, be confident. Whatever you wear, own the look and, don't talk about your ex. Never!

Finally, some extra free bonus tips to make the date a successful whole. Check your bag and make sure the following items are at least not missing.

-       Lip balm. Because chapped lips are terribly annoying to have to look at all the time but are especially very not kissable.

-       Deodorant. You probably left home late because you spent way too long panicking in front of the mirror, so that overheated bike ride may have given you a curious scent.

-       Cash. I could write books about the who-pays-discussion. No matter how feminist and everyone-is-equal-ish I am, I believe the man should pay for the first dinner. If only because you have already hopelessly invested in the costs to look va va voom. New clothes, wax treatment, nails, eyebrows, eyelashes, hair – when you think about it, it's really ridiculous what we all have to do before the average woman considers herself presentable. But, and here comes my feminist nature, you should at least be willing and able to pay for your own food. And bring enough for a taxi afterward because he’s such a jerk who suggested splitting the bill.

-       Extra foundation or powder. Suppose the date is a success and suppose you stay over. Then it's quite nice if you can scrub away the worst bags under your eyes the morning after.

-       Condom. Because duh. The whole idea that you can't have sex after a first date is really so hopelessly outdated. Don't rely on his supply because a man will never be the first to suggest using a condom. Well, there's nothing you can do about that.

Good, we're getting somewhere. Take advantage of the above and I would say, happy hunting!