May-Britt and the magical ribbon
It had been buzzing and humming for weeks. The ‘magic wire’ from the German lingerie brand Triumph was on its way. It was said to have found the solution to give that annoying underwire bra a boost while also keeping ‘the mood’ as my great-aunt always said, in its place.
Long before Gaultier
When Triumph says it, I am very inclined to believe it. Bragging isn't really part of the brand's DNA, but they have been around since the late 19e century, they made the pointy bra long, long before Jean-Paul Gaultier did and were already influenced by the New Look of Dior. A brand close to my heart, because skilled and embracing women and fashion.
If I wanted to test that magical thread. In Copenhagen. But of course. So the alarm clock buzzed before a sunbeam could touch the Amsterdam ground and I stood with the dew on my Gucci fringe heels dutifully at Schiphol.
Corsets from nineteen-whatever
In Copenhagen, we were immediately whisked away (in a delightful little porn bus with leather armchairs and a huge flatscreen) to the most beautiful hotel in the city; l’Angleterre. We buried ourselves in both the corsets from nineteen-whatever and the divine snacks because getting up so early makes one hungry. The question was whether we wanted to test the bra. The sentence had barely been spoken when we were in line. A silicone-like half-moon replaces an underwire and thanks to a handy side thread, everything stays in place. Same effect without the feeling of having a harness around your midriff.
88 centimeters!
Because there were more fashion girls than fitting rooms, I was standing, with my lovely former colleague Evelien Tomazewski from Grazia, hesitating between the bras and my eye fell on the measuring tape of the lingerie experts. As a typical case of having too much time and too few tasks, it seemed like a particularly good idea to measure my hip circumference. After a month of hauling around with all top models the hip circumference of at least 89 centimeters had taken on mythical forms in my head. I had never measured my hips, so I prepared for the worst. Evelien turns out to be a former model (not surprising since she is tall, slim, and very pretty) and knows exactly where I should hold the tape. At the widest point, of course. What turned out? I actually have a hip circumference of 88 centimeters. I needed a moment to recover. Me? Then the Triumph assistant came over to determine my cup size. I have always had a measly 75 B, not much to be gained with those breasts of mine. She takes the measuring tape from my hands, wraps it around my bust, and says decisively: “That’s clear, 70C.”
Can I have that tape?
Dear people of Triumph, that bra was indeed fantastic, but your measuring tape is at least as magical. Can I order thirty of them? I’m going to make a lot of people very happy with that.
