Things that every woman does during a (first) date

Because we are all really unique, but some things are simply universally determined: these things every woman does on a date, especially on the first one. Don't deny it, we know it's true.

Worrying about the menu

When I have a date, I always study the menu at home beforehand, so I don't have to deal with that when he's sitting across from me. Because assuming that he pays for the first date you don't want to order something too expensive, and all those dishes with a million calories might not appeal to you either, considering possible naked activities later in the evening. My tip, order two appetizers, one of which comes as a main course.

Trying not to make weird eating sounds

Of course, we don't smack anyway but during a dinner date we actually want to eliminate any form of sound. We are proper girls and know exactly how all the cutlery works (“what the heck do I do with this tongs?!”), hold it correctly, and eat in complete silence. Thank you.

Constantly looking for potential clues

You barely know each other and still have to discover everything about each other. He can be as handsome and charming as he wants, there are still a lot of character traits you know nothing about and maybe don't even want to know. It's important to get those out in the open as soon as possible. Your ears are on high alert and every statement he makes is weighed and measured to see what it could mean. It's hard work, you know, such a date.

Being extremely aware of EVERY word that comes out of your mouth

Conversely, he is probably doing this too, which means you are very aware of everything you say. I've read that especially women tend to say more during a first date than in the 10 dates that follow, and from personal experience, I can say: that's true. Many things you blurt out can be dismissed with “oh, I'll see him a few more times and that's that,” but before you know it, you're at his parents' Christmas dinner and all those things you said during that first date are still said. So think before you speak.

Imagining what it would be like to be in a relationship with him

You’re not going to tell me that not every woman, no matter how independent and free-spirited she is, thinks at least once during a first date about what it would be like to be in a relationship with the man across from her. How would your friends find him? What would it look like if you both went to the office Christmas party together? Or a first vacation? Can you see that with him? Look, you don't have to weigh whether your DNA is good for healthy offspring right away, but a little bit of future should definitely be in there.

Texting your friends while he's in the bathroom

Because duh. A few months ago, one of my best friends had a date and there was quite a bit of fuss about it. At 11:00 PM, I texted “HOW IS IT GOING?” but the next day at 3:00 PM, I still hadn't heard back. Then I really die of excitement. Conversely, you probably also want to let him know how it's going, a quick thumbs up or down is enough. Moreover, if it's going pretty badly, you might as well gauge who can give you an omg-something-really-bad-happened call.

Being late

Because we all do that anyway. Not out of disinterest, not because we don't feel like it, but because we've just tried on ALL our clothes in an hour and a half, hastily dragged a razor over our leg, and then had a total makeup and hair crisis. Therefore. You should be glad we even have clothes on.