What I learned from my mother
8 lessons in style
Of course we have the fashion titles that educate us in taste and style and there are the street style types for inspiration, but some things in life can only be told by one person… Right, your mother. I am blessed with the sweetest but also most stylish mother I could wish for and I share her, sometimes a bit unconventional advice with you.
Never sit on the ground
Maybe at a campfire, but otherwise the ground and you are separated. Flight six hours delayed? Too bad. You stand your ground. Or you chat with the staff and arrange a spot in the business class lounge. But a lady, and let's assume that's the goal, does Not Sit On The Ground.
First take off your stockings, then your pants
No greater anti-afrodisiac than pantyhose. Of course, you can wear them, but it is of life and sex importance that your beloved never, EVER, sees you in panties, bra, and pantyhose. Either you undress in a closed space, or you first fumble those little socks out from under your pants and then pull your pants down.
Don't talk about ailments
I believe my mother would rather die than talk about menopause. Or other not so sexy problems. If you do discuss it, you do it with peers. Not with younger people (that would only scare them to death about the future) and definitely not with your husband. Just don't.
Always say your last name
Okay, we don't live in France where everyone uses 'vous' until you've shared the sheets a bit, but being too familiar is also not exactly classy. Shaking hands and stating your first and last name shows respect for the other. Even when meeting a group, shake hands with everyone, make eye contact, and say your full name.
Think of your man
It may all be very un-feminist, but my pregnant friends always whispered to me that they should also keep thinking of their man. You might have your head among the pink onesies or baby blue sleeping bags, but he still needs some horizontal activity. Some women would bristle at such a remark. “I’m sitting here with my big belly, then he should give up something too.” But hey, it’s not that bad, is it? It all started here, remember?
Never leave the house with wet hair
Why not? Because it looks like life has gotten away from you. Apparently, you don't have it together and are running behind the facts. That's the message you send out. Now I must say that I often don't have it together, but I usually look like this. And that helps.
Don't complain
My father was a sailor and thus half the time abroad. My mother gave birth twice without him at her bedside. “I actually found that nice,” she said. “He hadn’t seen me for so many months, that would have been a shock. Now I was already lying a bit beautifully with a baby in my arm waiting for him.”
Killing kindness works best
My mother will never curse, swear, or raise her voice. But she can gently put someone beautifully in their place. When we left Utrecht long, long ago for a house in Zeeland, our Utrecht acquaintances found it hard to accept. “Zééland? ZEELAND? What do you have to do there?” Now my mother could have said that we bought a very beautiful house that was much more affordable there than in the middle of the country, that my brother could surf there every day and my pony could come live in the garden, and so on. But she smiled kindly and said: “Oh, that is so wonderfully close to Paris.”
