Language blunders remain the most fun. For example, my proper aunt once asked her English nephew: “What is your best fuck at school?”. She meant what his best ‘subject’ was, but it came out just a bit differently. I once shouted ‘so we can stimulate each other’ when I was talking at the same time as someone else. stopped smoking. “Encourage would be the word, May. Encourage.”

To avoid these kinds of embarrassing situations, Frankrijk.nl (which is a really fun site by the way) tells you what you better not say this summer. Unless you're in the mood for a bit of hilarity…

May I penetrate you?

There’s nothing wrong with that, you would say. You introduce yourself nicely. But let this s’introduire mean ‘to penetrate’ or 'to intrude'. That might be a bit premature if you still need to introduce yourselves to each other.

How exciting

Saying C’est excitant or ca m’excite when you find something incredibly cool is also not such a good idea. You can see it coming, you say that you find something exciting and, excusez, horny.

I am an alcoholic

A woman was sitting with friends at a table in the garden. On the table was a beautifully shaped bottle of wine. “J’aime la bouteille” were her words that led to loud laughter. With that, she didn’t say that she found the bottle beautiful but actually that she was an alcoholic who ‘loves the bottle’.

Giving away your husband

If you want to give the phone to your beloved, we Dutch often say: “Je vous donne mon mari.” But that means you are giving away your beloved. If that’s not your intention, you better say: “Je vous passe mon mari.”.

Where is the bedroom?

In French, ‘chambre’ is the word for bedroom. Asking if you can see it is not very polite and quickly indicates romantic intentions. If you want to see the living room, you ask for the ‘salle à manger’ or ‘salon’ and someone’s study is their ‘bureau’.

Poison

Finally, pay attention to your pronunciation when ordering a fish. If you don’t say it with a sharp S but more with a z-sound, you’re ordering poison instead of a fish.

Bonnes vacances I would say.