IN 36 QUESTIONS IN LOVE

About 20 years ago, there was a scientist, Arthur Aron, who conducted an experiment to prove that two random strangers could fall in love with each other by answering 36 questions. The experiment took place in a lab. A heterosexual man and woman entered through different doors, had to sit opposite each other, answer the 36 questions, and then look deeply into each other's eyes for four minutes. Of the participants, two were married six months later. So, 36 questions and bam, you're in love, could it really be?

The premise of the study is “we believe that the best way for you to get close to your partner is for you to share with them and for them to share with you.” The questions you have to answer start off fairly innocuous (“Would you like to be famous? And in what way?”) but become increasingly personal (“What is your most terrible memory?”) and are very intimate and almost impossibly difficult to answer at the end (“Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find the most disturbing and why?”). There are three sets of questions, and the intention is that you answer all the questions to the best of your ability.

The person opposite you is still a stranger

The remarkable thing is that the research showed that even if your partner (where you should read ‘partner’ as the stranger sitting across from you, not the one you are in a relationship with) does not give an answer you can relate to, you still get closer to him/her because the fact that an answer is given apparently weighs more than the content. “Perhaps the self-disclosure and relationship-building process has such an impact that agreement […] is not relevant.” I find this very interesting. I had heard before that women tend to share more during a first date than they do in the weeks that follow. The person opposite you is still a stranger, sharing intimate things is paradoxically much less scary.

Anyone who wants to read the entire study clicks here, and now we will move on to the questions. As mentioned, they are divided into three sets. Got a date coming up or feeling extremely needy for love? Print out the cards below, take them with you, and slide them under the nose of a man. Who knows, you might be parading in white down the aisle in a few months.