In love in 36 questions

About 20 years ago, a scientist by the name of Arthur Aron performed an experiment to prove that two random strangers could fall in love by answering 36 questions. The experiment took place in a lab. A heterosexual man and woman entered through different doors, took their places opposite each other, answered 36 questions and then stared into each other's eyes deeply for four minutes. The trial persons ended up married two and a half years later. So 36 questions and bam you’re in love, can it be?

The theory behind the study is “we believe that the best way for you to get close to your partner is for you to share with them and for them to share with you.” The questions to answer start off fairly innocently (“Would you like to be famous? In what way?”) then start to become more personal (“What is your worst memory?”) and progress to extremely intimate and almost impossibly difficult to answer (“Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find the most upsetting and why?”). There are three sets of questions, and the intention is to answer them all honestly.

The person opposite you is a total stranger

The remarkable part of the research shows that even though your partner (and with partner you should read the stranger sitting opposite you at the table, not the person you’re having a relationship with) does not give answers that you recognize, you still become closer to him/her due to the fact that the act of answering is more difficult than the content matter itself. “Perhaps the self-disclosure and relationship-building process has such an impact that agreement […] is not relevant.” I found the whole thing very interesting. I have heard before that women tell more during a first date than the weeks to follow. The person opposite you is a total stranger, so telling them intimate things is paradoxically less scary.

If you want to read about the entire study, click here, and now let’s move onto the questions. As already mentioned, they are split into three sets. Do you have a date planned or a desire for love? Print the below cards out, take them with and shove them under the nose of a male person. Who knows, you might just end up parading up the altar dressed in white in a few months time.