OSCARS 2015:
THE DRESS PARADE AND OUR OWN AWARDS
Last night Hollywood pretended again the Oscars are about film awards, while we all know that it’s actually about the dresses. And since there is still no Oscar for Best Dress, we are doing that, along with some other alternative awards. Here we go.
That undoubtedly goes to Emma Stone. In a lime-colored dress by Elie Saab, she was the most beautiful of the ball. A high slit, long sleeves, an open back, and sequins from head to toe, and that striking color combined with her red hair makes her the undisputed winner. Later she also received a golden statuette for her film Birdman, but she was already a winner when she pulled this dress off the rack.
Patricia Arquette won Best Supporting Actress and even in her dress, there was a noticeable supporting role, namely for her upper arm. She wore a black and white gown by Rosette Getty, with an asymmetrical neckline. Now I don’t want to be a nagging woman, but, and pay attention now, I’m going to be a nagging woman, anyone wearing such a dress should do some extra exercises at the gym beforehand. Sure, Patricia is no longer 18, but her slightly flabby arm didn’t sit well with me. The rest of the dress is so flattering and beautiful, it’s just a shame. A little piece of fabric added and she would have gotten 10 champagne glasses.
Jennifer Lopez arrived in a gigantic princess dress by Elie Saab, with an equally gigantic décolletage. To be fair, it is a beautiful dress, but I’m not sure if I think it suits Jennifer. Elie Saab dresses are every girl's dream, but the condition for a Saab dress to work well is that the wearer gives the dress all the attention and keeps herself in check regarding her hair, makeup, and jewelry. Now that part went well, but that completely exaggerated bosom doesn’t sit well with me. J.Lo always tries so hard, it’s always so completely unnecessary fierce. I admit, the longer I look at the photos of her, the more I like it, but still, I just don’t know.
Or actually, for the No-No-No gloves. Gaga looks like she was doing the dishes and suddenly thought, “oh shit wait I have to go to the Oscars,” and ran out of the house and only in the car realized she still had those ridiculous red dishwashing gloves on. “Oh well fuck them, I’m GAGA” she must have thought, and that may be true, I just don’t find it a good look. And especially such a shame, because the Alaia dress she is wearing is so beautiful, those red things were really not necessary.
Scarlett, this is a costume. A fancy dress. Were you going as a green Avatar? Or as the gala version of your role Lucy? No one knows, but that necklace belongs in the Championship Figure Skating and has no place at the Oscars.
Lupita arrived in a custom-made Calvin Klein dress, which consisted of 6000 (!) pearls. The Internet is ruthless and Lupita appears everywhere in the worst dressed lists, but I find her unbelievably beautiful. The dress is so stunning and beautifully made, and the styling and makeup are kept perfectly simple – I don’t understand why the world is hating so much on this dress.
Last year Sofia Vergara came to the Golden Globes in a black Zac Posen dress with an azure blue necklace from Lorraine Schwartz, and Cate Blanchett's stylist was undoubtedly inspired by that look. A bit of been there done that, but who cares if you look so beautiful. Cate wears a dress by Maison Martin Margiela Couture with an azure blue necklace from Tiffany & Co. Hair, makeup, perfection at its best.
Jennifer, Jennifer Jennifer. “Never change a winning team” but with you, I would like to put a line through that. Jen either wears a black dress or a nude-colored gown. And that hair, that damn hair is ALWAYS the same. Yes, you have good hair, but for God’s sake, style it up, throw in a curl or I don’t know what but NOT. ALWAYS. EXACTLY. The same. Thank you.
