“I KNOW YOU!”

The suffering that is just not known is called

“I know you! I hear this sentence almost every day. Followed by a long, penetrating look and the follow-up sentence ”But from where? From where?“ I know exactly what comes next. A list of places or occasions where we might have seen each other.

“Are you sometimes in a store?”, “Were you at André and Nicole's birthday?”, “Did you also study in Groningen?”. I display some evasive behavior for the first three minutes. “Maybe from the schoolyard…”, I suggest weakly while I know I have really never seen that person in my entire life.

I uh… I have been on TV

When the person across from me continues with “No, no, no that's not it. But I know you. I know you”, the embarrassing moment is there and I have to do something to break the situation. “I uh… I have been on TV. Maybe you know me from that”, I say cautiously.

Again, the same recipe follows. My conversation partner starts talking a few notches louder and a few octaves higher. “You? On teeveehee?” it sounds very loud through the room causing everyone at the butcher, in the changing room at the pool, or in line at the cinema to look at me. “But where then?”

I can tell you that after mentioning that you might be a little bit known, explaining what you are known for is ten times more awkward.

“Uh, well, I am a lifestyle expert at RTL Boulevard. Although they are now incredibly happy with Nikkie Plessen and I’m not there as often… And uh, I was recently on Humberto Tan for RTL Late Night.” While I make this incredibly awkward list, I look around to see if there is someone who can come to my rescue. A child in distress, someone who forgot their wallet that I can help, a hole in the floor, a fire drill, something…

Meanwhile, I see the person across from me shaking their head. They don’t know me from that. It was really that birthday of Brenda and David. Guys. Now it seems like I am unsolicitedly gushing about my TV appearances. Save me. SAVE me. SAVE me.

Then I think I see the light. Holland’s Next Topmodel! Of course. That’s where she knows me from. I was a jury member. My conversation partner falls silent, looks at me and says: “Holland’s Next Topmodel? No, I really never watch that.”

Sigh….