Why you don't have to feel guilty
ABOUT WORKING FULL TIME
I still remember that many women looked at me as if I had just thrown a wagging labrador puppy into the frying oil when I used to say that my children went to daycare five days a week (this metaphor is actually from Carolien Spaans, but I found it too brilliant to leave it uncited).
In Sweden, children typically go to daycare five days a week (okay, they can stay with their beautiful mothers and latte-daddies for the first two years) and in France and many other countries as well. Working full time is very normal for women abroad. In the Netherlands, it's something special. Or something despicable?
In any case, I always feel like I have to defend myself because I work full time. “But I never go to Ibiza or anything with friends you know,” I hear myself anxiously squeaking behind it.
Let me first say that everyone should do what they feel comfortable with and what they can afford. Because childcare is of course incredibly expensive in the Netherlands. I know that in the past, three-quarters of my hefty editor-in-chief salary went straight to the company Kindergarden. And if your job isn't that great, I totally understand that you choose to stay home. But after a few years, your children go to school and you're left there with your empty cargo bike.
If you work part-time, you can have a nice job, but no career. Hard, but that's just how it is. Moreover, you won't win against all those men who are simply there all week (in top positions, that is). I don't believe in the glass ceiling. We built that ourselves. Women perform better in school and during their studies, John de Mol prefers to work with women because they are so contentious, so why would we be any less good in the workplace? That only has to do with our bleeding mother heart.
And I know it. I still remember calling the daycare to ask how it was going and I couldn't understand the teacher because someone was crying loudly. Right, my daughter. Believe me, the only thing you can do is go to your child. Sometimes you are really the only one that matters in a situation and please, don't think that everything has gone smoothly for me. On the contrary.
What I have learned is that as a mother, you are the most important for your child, but you really don't have to do every little task yourself. And you really don't have to feel guilty, it's not something you inflict on them or anything. In fact; there are quite a few advantages. For yourself and for your children. Here they come.
- Equal paid couples divorce half as often
- Equal paid couples have sex more often and better
- Daughters of mothers with a good job get better jobs
- Sons of mothers with a career are more caring
There. And now I'm going to celebrate an amazing autumn break. With my children. Work hard, play hard, right?
