Reasons why you should not get married
It is almost impossible to make this point at the Amayzine editorial office, because with Jet and Josselin around you stand no chance of explaining why a person should not get married. Jet spends at least 3 of the 7 days a week watching wedding videos and barely comes down from the swooning (to be fair, it’s a miracle that she even manages to get any work done) and Josselin already knows exactly how and where her wedding will take place. The only one I can still find a bit of support from is May, who goes through life unmarried (but has been with the same man for a thousand years and has three children). Anyway, I stick to my point: not getting married is better and for the following reasons.
Choosing
People love to shout that they want to “really choose each other,” but I don’t understand why you need a marriage for that. May has really chosen her ‘man,’ and he is certainly not any less her ‘man’ just because they don’t have wedding rings.
Practical reasons
And then those children. I understand that it can be practically handy to be legally connected, but that can also just be done at the town hall without all that fuss around it? Go have a romantic lunch somewhere afterwards and that’s that.
Money
Because that lunch is a lot cheaper. A wedding is expensive. In the Netherlands, an average wedding costs €15,000,- FIFTEEN THOUSAND EUROS. Do you know what you can do with that?! For example, travel together for half a year, during which you experience countless more grandiose highlights than during that one “most special day of your life.” And yes, very romantic, such a wedding, but do you know what a hassle it is to organize all that? And how much conflict can arise from it? Better pack your suitcase and spend half a year on romantic beaches.
Showcase
I just don’t understand that you have to proclaim in front of everyone that you love each other so much. Why does that have to be done in public? Why does everyone have to take a whole day off to hear that from you while everyone already knows? Why put your love on display like that?
Last name
Women who take their husband’s last name really make me angry. I identify with my name, and now I suddenly have to use a different name? Come on. I will forever be Liesbeth Rasker and not a hair on my head will change that. I actually find it astonishing that women still give up a part of their own identity for their husband without complaint, it’s already bad enough that the children automatically get the father’s name. My father once told me that if mail came for “Mrs. Rasker” in the past, my mother (a staunch feminist who always kept her own last name Hendrikse) would return the letters unopened because “there is no Mrs. Rasker living here.” And no, those double last names don’t make sense either. He doesn’t take your name, does he? Well then.
Pressure
Most women fantasize about that wedding but conveniently forget that a whole marriage comes after that. With vomiting children and boring parent-teacher meetings and zero free time and always being tired. Super fun, yes! And now you are Married and therefore an Adult and argh it seems so boring to me.
Waiting
That’s what I understand the least about marriage. That women just sit around waiting (after giving subtle hints for months) until their love goes down on one knee. What about taking matters into your own hands! So passive and dependent! And you know what, darling, who am I anyway, away with that last name, give me yours! Then I am both broke and stripped of my own identity. Long live marriage!
Finally
Aside from all of this, if I receive an invitation to a wedding of a loved one, then of course I will go. I don’t know if that’s hypocritical, but I’m not so principled that I will sit at home sulking because my best friend is getting married. So Jet and Joss, I’m already looking forward to your weddings. But if you take your husband’s last name, I will hold a never-ending plea on why you should not do that at all. So be warned.
