SOS IN CASE OF A COMPUTER CRASH

In a day there are too few hours and there is never enough memory on your phone. Fact. Hopping on one sneaker looking for the other, I bounce through the house with hands full of keys, extra chargers, sunglasses, and metro cards, when I realize that I still want to clear my phone.

I am fed up with that ‘there is not enough space’ pop-up on my screen. So, in a bit of a hurry, I open my laptop, plug in the phone, and press some buttons routine-like. And then it happens. That spinning icon that my little computer says: “I am still thinking” does not stop spinning. Then suddenly the thinking wheel stands still. I hold my breath. At the moment I can no longer hold it, there is first a flash and then I see only a black screen.

The keys, extra chargers, sunglasses, and metro cards almost symphonically crash to the ground. There is silence. Hysteria sets in and I pretend for a moment that I don't know what is going on. But inside I know damn well what just happened. My computer has crashed.

Gasping for breath, I press everything and the thing turns back on. It seems okay, but it is a battlefield. Everything is empty. No document to be found. I cancel my appointment. I could cry. Maybe I did.

What a misery. After some hysterical calls with my fiancé (and his IT department), the thing works again. But I am exhausted. It is Friday night and I am sitting at our kitchen table after the nerve-wracking crash. The wine is waiting. But before I dive into that, I am going to give you a First Aid for Laptop Crashes. How to recognize it and, more importantly, how to prevent it. You wouldn't wish this on anyone.

The Panic

Gasping breath. Tears spring to the eyes. Shaking my head hopelessly, an almost endless mantra ‘NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!’ swirls through your head. Quite normal. This is the first phase. Fight against the tears. Because yes, there are more serious matters in the world. But, I get it, it is just the absolute worst ever. Get through it. It is part of it.

The Blame

Someone has to take the blame. In my case, it was my fiancé. After all, he had ‘fucking hell not updated that software and he knows he always has to do that kind of thing and that is why everything is ALL gone!’ Reasonable? No. Rational? No. Stop pointing fingers and accept that it is your own ‘fucking hell’ fault.

The Almost-Breaking-Throw Situation

You pull yourself together and get to work. You futilely try to play the IT pro. The frustration rises again to a peak. It doesn't work. Go take a walk and prevent yourself from throwing things. The will is there, I know it, but it only breaks more.

The Recovery

We all have a friend who does something with computers. Or someone who knows such a person. Call, put on your sweetest voice and he (or she of course) will help you. Or google (on your phone if it still works) the nearest laptop doctor. This and only this is your only salvation.

Prevent

Yes, I sometimes wonder. We can go to Mars with a space station, but getting a simple computer with some photos to work? No, not an option. But realize that expeditions to Mars are conducted with the utmost care. So never hastily pound on your laptop. Never just yank your USB out. No, do everything with concentration and patience. That always prevents a lot of misery. Oh and get a good backup. One remotely or something. Costs a bit, but then you have something. I guess I will do that now. No, actually I am going to drink an incredibly large glass of wine first. Cheers!