THE BIZARRE LOVE LIFE OF GIGI HADID

Guys, I just can't keep up anymore with whom Gigi is now dating again. I truly believed in the love with Cody Simpson and it took me weeks to process that they are no longer together. Both so nice, young, blonde, and handsome, and oh, I could totally see it. But they were “too busy” for a relationship and their grueling schedules made the already overflowing bucket overflow. Cody and Gigi no more.

But before you could even say “break-up,” there was already a new man, named Joe Jonas. No matter how hard it was for me to say goodbye to Cody, I did like Joe. Photos of Joe and Gigi appeared everywhere and oh oh oh how in love they were, just look how sweet and fun they are together. What I always found strange was that she ended one relationship due to lack of time and then suddenly had time for a new one. But oh well, nitpicker.

Joe and Gigi seemed like a match made in heaven, until that too suddenly ended. And again: before you, as a well-meaning citizen, had managed to digest that news, there was another new guy, this time Zayn Malik.

Now, it so happens that I recently sat side by side with a huge gossip expert and he declared me crazy when I said I was disappointed about the break-up with Joe. “But that was just a publicity stunt, nothing real about it.” But, but hey, how then?!” I muttered. Wasn’t it real love? How could that be a stunt?

I was immediately declared totally naive: “just google some photos of them, you never see them kissing in the picture,” said the gossip expert. But hold on, how about these photos then?? “All staged, they know there are a lot of cameras around.” My spirits sank. Was I naive or was this person just downright cynical?

In the meantime, it seems that I was indeed right, because Joe is handling the news about Zayn particularly poorly. He unfollowed Gigi on Twitter and Instagram and deleted all the photos they were in together. Broken heart much? What about publicity stunt! Gigi, for her part, responded to all the rumors and commotion with a series of now-deleted tweets, including: “sometimes life just happens.. For whatever reason in whatever timing. And sometimes it doesn’t make sense til it does. That’s it.”

Okay, fine, what are we all meddling in. But I find it difficult to get attached to celebrity relationships when EVERYTHING can just be fake and over in an instant. Think of my poor cynical heart, people, I just can't handle all of this. So do yourself and me a favor and just stay together a little longer than the average menstrual cycle, that’s really better for everyone. Thank you.