The moments when you are your own biggest cockblocker

Your outfit is to die for, hair and makeup are exactly as intended, you feel on top of the world and have been shining all night in the disco or pub. Tonight you're going to get him, or him, or maybe him, but in any case someone and you're completely ready for it. Until you do one of the things below and your conquest plan hopelessly fails. Sometimes you are your own biggest cockblocker.

When you've really, REALLY drunk too much

Everything seems to be going well until you get off the bar stools and you crash back down with a dull thud . He pulls you off the ground and balances you while you think you're looking at him seductively but actually you're staring with half-closed, bleary eyes at the tip of his chin, where you think his eyes are. So charming.. When you've forgotten that you're on your period.

You've managed to get from the club or bar to home and on the stairs up some clothes were already being taken off. You stumble tangled towards your bed and just at that moment you remember that you have the red sea between your legs this weekend. Yeah, and what do you do then…

When you've forgotten his name

I've had that before. I was flirting and drinking with a really nice guy all night. Until a friend of mine walked by, I enthusiastically introduced him as 'Mark' while his real name was nowhere near that. He was not amused. And I, to be honest, was already way too drunk for nice conversations.

When you make everything up.

You're a marketing manager at this or that company, born in Rotterdam and now living on an Amsterdam canal. You graduated cum laude from the UvA and lived in Paris for two years and then another six months in Hong Kong. Until later in the conversation you say you want to go back to Hong Kong and a bit later you let slip that you grew up in a cute little village. That's not true, and he knows that too.

When you find out you have no balance left.

You

as a woman of the world proudly and heroically declare that you will pay the bill, because you hate living off his wallet. With a firm arm movement, you push your debit card into the ATM only to get a humiliating 'beep beep' back and see the letters on the screen spell “ NO BALANCE‘”. “Um, sweetheart, could you maybe help me out?””When you slip up and he knows you've already been digitally stalking him“

I've had that too and

that was SO awkward . I met a guy I had already checked out on Facebook long ago, without us ever having met. I pretended to be crazy and acted like I had no idea where he studied, worked, and who his friends were. Until I said “yeah cool, it was the birthday of so and so” and he said “um, how do you know I was there?” and I had to mumble something about tagged photos but it was already too late. And he walked away.. THE MOMENTS WHEN YOU YOURSELF ARE YOUR BIGGEST COCKBLOCKER Your outfit is to die for, hair and makeup are exactly as intended, you feel on top of….