This is how you become the perfect wedding guest

It's summer. Well, if you can call it that. And summer means, besides a lot of gin and tonics, short denim jeans and never wearing closed shoes again, also weddings. Whether you like it or not; the wedding season is open.

Now, I am not married. While all the ingredients for a wedding are present (the love of my life and the intention to end up on a bench in the nursing home together), it has never happened. Just because whenever the moment was there, we thought of something much more fun to do with all that money. My choice, our choice, but it does make me a nightmare of a wedding guest.

I had that suspicion already, but when I stumbled upon this piece in the Huffington Post, I was sure. So here are the most important wedding guest protocols in a row.

RSVP

As soon as you receive the invitation, grab your calendar, see if you can make it, and send your RSVP in writing. Immediately. So I was that nightmare of a guest who said (verbally): “Of course I’ll come.” That turns out to be incredibly annoying for the bride-to-be. And I actually understand that quite well. She’s already incredibly busy, and if she also has to keep track of who is coming and who isn’t from memory, it becomes a mess. So just confirm in writing, from there they will start working on the food procurement, seating, goodie bags, and I don’t know what else.

Plus no one

If the invitation doesn’t say you can bring someone, then you don’t ask for it. Period. One person costs a lot of money, and ‘if everyone does that’ suddenly doubles the price of such a wedding day. Moreover, there will be people on the day that the couple themselves did not choose. You wouldn’t want that either. So off you go. You just go alone. There are surely people you know, and otherwise, you’ll get to know them during the bachelor party.

Gift is mandatory

A wedding day is a money-sucking monster. Just for that reason, you should support the happy couple with a fresh set of sheets or a hand blender. Preferably buy something from their gift list (by the way, while researching, I found out that Bijenkorf stopped their wedding service in 2015, which I found striking, but that’s beside the point) because that’s what they would like to have. If you think that’s silly (I actually find gift lists quite bourgeois) or you don’t have money for their wishes (remember Carrie who had to choose something for a wedding where a gift started at 250 dollars or so), still give something. A bottle of wine, linen handkerchiefs, or send a very nice card. Even if you have nothing to do with the phenomenon of marriage (like me… well, not nothing, nothing, just a little), for these people, it is a Very Special Day. Respect that and express it.

Remember the date

Really, I am a nightmare with dates. I’m already very happy if I remember the birthdays of my best friends. Usually, I’m ‘approximately’ warm and congratulate them in the week their birthday falls. With a bit of bad luck in the same month. But really, if you remember the wedding day of your loved ones, you score. Just buy a calendar and neatly write down each wedding. My aunt still calls every year on my parents' wedding day. Isn’t that sweet?

Be supportive

I always get a bit tense when a wedding is coming up. I feel like I have to do everything because someone I care about is going to experience something that is very important to her, but in the end, nothing seems good enough, and I end up doing nothing. Only to show up on the day itself with a guilty conscience.

Just send a card a few days in advance. Or bring a very small bottle of champagne the day before that she can drink during her makeup moment. Really, everything is fine. But just do something. Then I will do that too.