A few weeks ago I told you about my lack of fomo. Fomo stands for the Fear Of Missing Out, and means that you are always terrified of missing things and therefore want to be everywhere all the time. Fomo often comes at the expense of yourself because it is deadly exhausting, particularly unnecessary, and in the long run, it won't make you a happier person. So I have no trace of fomo and that gives me a wonderfully relaxed life. I think. One of the biggest fomo patients I know once asked me how he could get rid of his (out of proportion) large fomo, so for him and for you: this is how you do it.

Choose for yourself

Let's start immediately with something lofty and grand. Because ultimately, fomo is about NOT choosing for yourself, and only for others. You can't stay on the couch one evening because you're afraid that all those people who are at the disco are going to have a lot more fun than you. I once skipped a very hip party where “everyone” would be because I was actually just very tired, didn't feel like wearing a dress, had just started a new series, and believed it would be fine. The next day I saw everywhere on Instagram that it had indeed been a wildly fun evening, but I was so in the mood for cocooning on the couch, so why would I force myself to go to a party? So in summary: ask yourself the question: what do I want? And then, why do I want that? Any answers related to “I don't really feel like it / I'm already too drunk / I'm super tired - but later I'll miss the party of the year” are not good advice.

Choose your moments

I am an absolute slave to my agenda ((read here) and that has many disadvantages, but also a few advantages. I choose the moments when I go out, and I prepare myself for that. You are reading this on Saturday, but I am writing this on Thursday and I already know that I will be going out for drinks with my friend Noor de Groot on Friday evening, and then I can do whatever I want. Drinks, partying, disco - fine, and then I will take it easy again on Saturday. Next week I also have a drinks appointment on Friday, but I already know that it won't get out of hand. I foresee a quiet Friday evening and then I will be in the mood for a party again on Saturday. I will be in the mood for a party again. The thing is; when you see EVERY evening as a potential party night, you can never say no, it just keeps going. Of course, I also have enough oops moments and things often go differently, but generally, I am always reasonably organized and in that way, I can enjoy that grand party with the accompanying hangover much more.

Think ahead

That fomo patient I mentioned earlier can be throwing up from the drinks at a party but still go to the afterparty. Then he is out of it for two days ‘but it was really fun.“ I don't understand that at all. Sure, I have also gone longer than is good for me, but usually, there comes a point where I think: ”Okay, that's enough.“ Especially because I always ask myself if the hangover I will get from it is worth continuing, and the answer is often no. Aside from the hangover, ask yourself if it will really be that much more fun if you stay. About two weeks ago I was at Emma's Amazing Fun(d) Raising, a pretty hip and happening party in Amsterdam. When it was over and I was swaying from the champagne on my Louboutins and everyone was heading to the afterparty, I really consciously decided not to do that. “Am I going to get more out of this evening than I have now? Am I really going to miss something? Am I not already drunk enough? Have I not already had a lot of fun and is it good like this?” And then I decided to order an Uber and just, boringly go home. And I was glad I made that decision.

Okay, I might sound very composed and rational and oh so mature now, it's not that bad. But I refuse to do things against my will out of fear that I might miss something. “You miss more than you experience,” Martin Bril once said, and you might as well surrender to that. And in the meantime, only do things you really feel like doing, without being led by unrealistic fears. Amen.