SO YOU STOP WITH THAT CHRISTMAS PERFECTIONISM
– This is how you deal with it during the holidays –
May just forwarded me a post from Huffington Post. It was written just for me. I actually have quite a bit of a dislike for Christmas because I find it all a pile of obligations. Presents that need to be wrapped in the most beautiful way must be done, pulling your favorite gift from the closet, being super cozy, and conjuring up the best food on the table. It’s probably all my own fault because I’m just a huge perfectionist who wants everything to be too good and therefore spends hours on a gift, outfit, and dinner. But hey, Huffington Post also offers solutions, so who knows, maybe they will help and I’ll get through the last month well. And maybe I will actually find Christmas very enjoyable.
1. Set priorities and boundaries
Set boundaries and priorities. That’s of course difficult as a perfectionist, but during Christmas you really have to push through that. Look at what is most important to you. If you find socializing more important than wrapping beautiful gifts, then just let that go for a moment. You can be better overenthusiastic and cozy without gifts than giving perfectly wrapped gifts with a grumpy face. You also just need to delegate well. Friends can wrap gifts too. Maybe not as beautifully as you do, but just remember that it’s very sweet that they do that. And you don’t have to cook yourself either. Mothers-in-law can do that perfectly well.
2. Don’t overdo it
A Christmas party is fun, but having twenty in a month is perhaps a bit excessive. It not only causes a huge hangover but also stress beforehand. If it’s not about the looks, then it’s about the timing of arrival at a party. Moreover, perfectionists always have a very sharp image of how they see the end result. But if a party is organized by someone else, that’s quite difficult. So try to turn off that visualization button for a moment, because if you don’t, it’s very annoying that you don’t have the perfect end result in mind and you’ll dread it.
3. Think about the reaction
Finding the ideal gift for friends or family is often a search that will never end. I can really spend hours, what am I saying: weeks, on it and still not be satisfied. I’m always afraid of disappointing someone. Think about what kind of reaction you would like to receive from someone and adjust your gift accordingly. I always find it sound terrible, but often something that is truly given from the heart is the most special gift.
4. Embrace the good
You’re dreading it. That’s clear. But take a look at what is actually fun about it and embrace that. You can actually see that separately from perfectionism. It also helps you to put all your positive thoughts and ideas on paper and you’ll be even happier with all that fun.
5. Try new traditions
The biggest problem with traditions is that you always compare them with those of previous years. And if those from previous years are disappointing, I understand (really, I understand it like no other) that you’ll dread it even more. Look, for me Christmas was always completely prime until I was in Australia three years ago during those days. Since then it can’t get any better and every Christmas is disappointing. A luxury problem, but still. To solve the problem, you just introduce some new traditions. Set a trend. At least you’re the one doing it and you can’t compare it with other years.
Footnote. I can tell you that writing this piece has helped me tremendously therapeutically. I understand myself even better now, although I realize that I make it very difficult for others too. But hey, who knows, it might still turn out to be a nice Christmas. Of course in my tracksuit, with poorly wrapped gifts and food from the snack bar. Because if I let go of that perfectionism, I’ll do that to the best of my ability.
