Men, beware! This is what happens when your girlfriend is detoxing

Cleaning, and talk about your issues under very comfortable conditions. You would almost book your vacation there if it didn't cost a year's salary to get in., fasting, juicing, resetting or whatever you want to call it: everyone is on the detox trend these days. Something to do with summer and bikinis, I think. A reset of your body is nice, but feeling just a little more confident in your birthday suit is even better, and a detox helps with that incredibly well. Liesbeth and I are making our own shakes this week with mango, spinach, avocado, coconut water, strawberries, and flaxseed. “A delicious little snack,” we keep saying while laughing as we toast with each other, and we cry a little again as we cycle past a terrace where tables are full of glasses of rosé and men, lots of men who are just not detoxing at all. Well, they have to do something while all those ladies are on the juices. For the man who happens to be reading this now or for the ladies with boyfriends who plan to reset for a bit, just shove this under his nose, because then he knows what to expect when we start a detox.

’In the morning, afternoon, and evening, you hear the noise of a blender.

We can be a bit grumpy when we wake up and act cranky, but after we’ve had something liquid to drink, we’re totally bouncing off the walls.

So we are quite moody.

The morning breath is also not always pleasant.

You can’t spontaneously go out for a nice dinner, because you first have to check if there’s soup on the menu and not lobster bisque or something, but a vegetable soup preferably with yeast-free broth. Good luck.

So no late-night partying either. First of all, we’re on tea or water, and secondly, we crash around 10 PM because we want to go to bed.

A little bit of fooling around is not always welcome.

Here and there, a little fart might slip out.

So, that’s about it. It’s a bit of a tough week for you gentlemen, but afterwards, oh afterwards, we are really on top of the world. Even in bed.