Fun & Famous

7 THINGS WE WONDER NOW THAT BRAD AND ANGELINA ARE APART

The previous breakup had already put a notch in my heart. I was in South Africa and read in my morning newspaper that Brad had left Jennifer for ‘the American tease’ (that's South African for hot chick) Angelina Jolie. My beloved and I needed a few days to recover.

Now I was happily at fashion week in Milan and suddenly hear that Angelina and Brad, the most powerful couple in Hollywood and the rest of the world, are no longer together. Just when we had placed them in this list of the most stable celebrity couples. After everything they have overcome, after the marriage (with the ugliest wedding dress ever, but that's beside the point), after overcoming breast cancer, after the sweetest open letter from Brad to his wife, suddenly just an ordinary divorce. Because that's what it's going to be, I'm telling you now. And now I'm wondering all of this.

1. Will things ever be okay between Jen and Brad?

Of course Jennifer is married and claims to be happy, but that was only after a very, very long period of mourning and after she had exhausted all the psychiatrists in Hollywood. In her heart, she is still very much into Brad and still wants him to be the father of her children.

2. Who will George and Amal choose?

In a divorce, you have to choose between the partners. You can't cry on Brad's shoulder one night and count tattoos with Angelina the next day. That's just not possible. They have to choose.

3. How is the vineyard doing?

That's a personal thing, but a dear former colleague of mine has a vineyard next to Château Miraval, the winery of Brad and Angelina. It was so lovely to be able to casually ask, preferably on a full terrace: ‘Hey, how are Brad and Angelina doing?’
Just for that reason, I hope the winery stays with one of them.

(preferably Brad's, because, well, I don't know, I think I'm more Team Pitt) and I can casually keep asking if Brad is managing okay on his own at the big vineyard...

4. Will Brad still see Maddox?

Because that's a child that Angelina adopted alone. Is she going to keep him away from Brad now? And Zahara? No way, right?

5. Is Angelina not really getting too thin now?

Brad was still a bit concerned about her underweight, but now that she is going to be all alone, I'm afraid of a dangerous mix between anorexia and orthorexia.

6. What will happen to the wedding dress?

I mean: it was a. really of a rare ugliness (look here, look here) and b. what are you supposed to do with it if it doesn't remind you of something nice? Free suggestion: set it on fire.

7. But when will Brad see the kids?

Angelina demands full custody of her children. However, Brad is allowed to see them occasionally. But how is that going to work? Every Sunday afternoon? That can't be right? Or will they be helicoptered back and forth by their nannies?

I find it all quite something, guys. I find it all quite something.