Fun & Famous

Alsjeblieft, neem mijn man niet af

by Maddy Stolk

It is my favorite song of all time. During a nothing-is-wrong week, it plays at least three times at volume 20, in tough times every day. The high notes that roll out of the most prominent bosom of all time hit the right chord every time. That's why I love Dolly so much. Dolly rules, Dolly is a queen. Dolly is, of course, Dolly Parton.

 
And Jolene is her magnum opus, as far as I'm concerned. I can't quite explain why the song strikes such a sensitive chord. Never has a beauty with flaming locks of auburn hair tried to steal my man, nor have I ever undertaken such a thing myself – a thorough understanding of mine and yours was already there early on. But as soon as the first notes sound and Dolly brings her exuberant vibrato (which is usually somewhat understated) to the fore: instant happiness.
Another classic has been my freelancers‘ mantra for years: ’Working 9 to 5, what a way to make a living, it’s all taking and no giving.' A fine summary of office life – when I'm lying in an almost empty sauna on a weekday morning, it always hums away very nicely.

By the way, my busty and high-blonde friend is the godmother of Miley Cyrus. And she can really sing too. Not that awkward mumbling she has been doing since she chopped her locks, stuck her head in a bucket of peroxide, and almost naked started twerking against Robin Thicke's crotch at the VMA Awards, but the music she made before that – good old country. For those who can't imagine this: search for Miley Cyrus’ Backyard Sessions on YouTube. She not only performs Jolene there, but also a beautiful rendition of Look What They’ve Done to my Song. And Dolly and Miley singing Jolene together: country has never sounded so good.

By the way, Dolly has not only a queen-size bosom but also a very big heart: last week, rapidly spreading wildfires wreaked havoc in her home state of Tennessee, and since then, Dolly has been supporting affected families who have become homeless due to the fires with $1000 per month.

‘It costs a lot of money to look this cheap,’

Last but not least in the list of reasons why we should all love Dolly: she is a walking one-liner machine. Her most famous is of course: ‘It costs a lot of money to look this cheap,’ which reveals self-deprecation, and without self-deprecation, life is simply not doable. Another gem: ‘I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes, because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde.’
And this one can go straight on a tile: ‘The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.’

Preach, Dolly! We love you.