Fun & Famous

ZWARTE VRIJDAG: IK ZEI NEE, NEE, NEE

by Maddy Stolk

Black Friday. In the Netherlands. Really? It's just as American as Halloween and Valentine's Day (and since those are now indispensable here, we will undoubtedly celebrate Thanksgiving next year: the day you are grateful for everything you have, so you can completely indulge yourself the next day – Black Friday – in everything you still don't have). But well, Black Friday has also reached our little frog country, of course in a watered-down version. While on the other side of the ocean, Isabel Marant boots and Chloé bags fly off the virtual shelves with 70 percent off, here you get 20 percent off at Zalando. Yay.

I didn't participate, but that had more to do with a little thing with renovations, being scammed by the contractors in question, doing that exact same renovation again but without leaks, and a small big misunderstanding with the Tax Authorities. Nothing that a few weeks of hard work can't solve, but I thought it was better to throw my credit card in the back of my cutlery drawer last Friday.

And as it goes, the dreamed offers started flying at me from that moment on. Fuck you, Mark Zuckerberg. With your ingenious cookie-info-collecting-targeted-advertising trick. Tickets to Bali for half the price, the Barcelona Chair by Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (yes, I'm not the only one, but it's a classic for a reason) for almost a pittance and the Two Mini bag by Jérôme Dreyfuss (see Barcelona Chair) finally on sale. And all not for me.

“If only life could always
be this simple.”

So I decided to throw myself wholeheartedly into something I also urgently needed and free besides: inner peace. A cartoon of a meditating girl has been circulating on the worldwide web for some time, with a thought bubble above her head containing the text: Come on inner peace. I don’t have all day.

That's about how I felt this weekend. In my thought bubble, Bali, Barcelona, and Jérôme played a starring role. I found it disconcerting. Is this what is happening in the deepest recesses of my soul? Since when do I no longer ponder about love, the origin of our existence, global warming? (Can someone show Leonardo DiCaprio's film Before the Flood to the president-elect of the US? If necessary, A Clockwork Orange style – and for those who don't know what I mean, go watch that classic too, in terms of disturbing, dystopian future vision).
But the persistent one wins, and after many failed attempts, I finally reached that coveted state of thoughtlessness.

It lasted about 20 seconds.

Then my doorbell rang. My new carpet was delivered; an online order before my credit card disappeared among the potato peelers. It's snow white (for as long as it lasts), wonderfully fluffy and soft, and lies better than a Hästens. I think, because I've never laid on a Hästens.

It's now Monday and I'm still lying on it. Zen, with a white, fluffy halo around my head and an unused credit card in my drawer.
If only life could always be this simple.