Fun & Famous

Can we stop with that double last name?

To marry or not to marry. To carry your husband's name or to stay comfortably with your own base. All fine, but that double surname. Our fresh pop-up contributing editor (goodness gracious, what a mouthful) Adeline Mans has quite a bit to say about that.

Kind regards, Annemarie van der Broekjes in ’t Veld dash Van Putten. I find that difficult.

I am blessed with a neutral surname: Mans. That’s fine too, because with Adeline it’s quite a mouthful during a proposal ritual. Besides the always original “then you must be quite the mans,” there isn’t much to joke about. But my boyfriend's name is Leclou. Do you hear the option (after a yes-word, right)? Adeline Leclou. I see waving grass on French hills and un vin blanc, s’il vous plaît. But with Mans dash Leclou, that nice glass of white shatters into a thousand pieces. One name is surely more than enough?

”I’m so happy for you that you’re married, but why do you want to share that with me right away?”

It was an honor to carry your husband's name, not an obligation. Fine for then, but that station seems passé to me. Or not? Not that we still need to stand on the barricades with our bras, not that either. But as soon as that ring slides onto your finger, behaving like Mrs. Mister just seems quite odd to me.

But except for one, all my girlfriends go for his surname in daily life. I feel like you’re more together and I want my children's name,” said my newly married friend. I totally get that. And if it’s prettier, I understand that too (a friend of May went from De Groot to Van Heemskerck van Beest, yes I get that), but then you also have the variant with a dash.

Double feels so double. I’m so happy for you that you’re married, but why do you want to share that with me right away? You do that as soon as you pull out that double name. Even if I’ve never seen you before and you would give me your name, I would know that you’re ‘a wife.’.

What does that extra name add? If your maiden name (itch word) is so important to you, keep it. Or even better, give your name to him. I think it would be fun to hear if he’s open to that.

Meanwhile, I’m still dreaming about that glass of Sauvignon Blanc, strolling through French markets and then just checking in at the hotel as Adeline Mans. And of course about that proposal, because I’m certainly not averse to that.

Written by Adeline Mans