Almost better than sex

ONLINE HOAX SHOPPING IS THE NEW RAGE

As chance would have it, our healthy and fit editor Jet and I found this hobby at the same time and completely separate from one another. “May, my Aquazzura espadrilles have been delivered and they’ll be picked back up in an hour. So technically, I just made €290.” This captures the essence of our latest hobby; online hoax shopping. And there are different versions of it.

Adding to your digital shopping cart is sometimes enough to satisfy a moderate shopping need. That lace DKNY dress, the YSL palm tree bag or maybe the Saint Laurent denim skirt? With just the click of a button it’s in your digital shopping cart. Close the laptop (feeling very pleased with yourself of course), sleep it over and the next morning you’ll wake up to find your need for shopping satisfied.

Jet usually sets an ultimatum for her possible purchases. If the dress (the DKNY dress that is) isn’t sold out yet, it must be fate and then she’ll buy it. But more often than not, by the time the ultimatum date is reached, the need for new stuff has been satisfied. It’s the dessert theory. You’re absolutely craving dessert, but if you go for a walk you’ll find that the craving has gone. That’s also how it works with shopping.

You will get that pair of Jimmy Choo’s, even if it kills you. You know, the ones with the 5 inch heels that are covered in sequins. They’re super cool under a pair of jeans and perfect for your New Year’s party. Or, responsible as you are, you’re thinking ahead and you’re buying a summer shoe in the sale off of Net-A-Porter. Now that’s what I call a strategy. So, the shoes end up in the shopping cart and they’re actually ordered and delivered. You pull off the ribbon, open the box, rummage through the black tissue paper and you’ve got yourself the luxurious Net-A-Porter experience. And then you put them on and think: “Ha, I’m going to send them back.” As it happens, it cost you nothing and you didn’t spend a dime. In women’s logic this means that you’ve made money. And so the cycle continues.