Fun & Famous

HOW DO YOU LEAVE A PARTY? WITH A HOUDINI, SLIDE OR A BANG?

Leaving is a higher art. Personally, I am very bad at it, for example. It can take hours. Then I think at 5:00 PM: wow, I have to leave soon, but by 6:45 PM I'm not even on my bike yet. Very strange indeed. It seems to mainly come from the fact that when leaving, I think I have to say goodbye to everyone personally.

Because I am now old and wise enough to solve the serious problems in my life independently, I have researched the best and most effective ways to leave. What turns out? There are a number of excellent and lightning-fast options. Read and laugh!

The Houdini

Now I can already hear you thinking: what is a Houdini I don't want difficult words on a Friday night my god where is the wine. But then I say: just stay calm now! This way of leaving is (very simple) named after the famous magician Houdini, who was incredibly good at disappearing tricks. In other words: the Houdini is a matter of disappearing. Moreover, he is always successful. Just go to the toilet for example. Or go smoke a cigarette. Or go ‘say goodbye to someone for a moment’. Or go look for your bag. Or go say goodbye to a friend. And then it's a matter of hop hop hop, as fast as you can down the possible stairs and through doors. And then run like a hare to your bike, car, train, taxi and tadaa: you're gone. But of course, you can also just keep running hard if you don't have any means of transport.

The fear with this option is perhaps that people will think you're stupid. That they will spit on your name because you have been arrogant. But that is completely unnecessary, as extensive research here in the editorial office shows (there are actually a lot of people here who often do a Houdini). I swear to you, there is no one here who has ever had social issues because of a Houdini. On the contrary, it's actually quite a cool way to leave. It makes you very exclusive. And no one has ever become worse from a little exclusivity.

Sure, you will get messages like ‘Bitch, are you alive?’, but then you just have to not respond until you're in the taxi, or until you're home, or until the next morning. Otherwise, they might persuade you to come back, you know. The next morning you at least say: ‘Sorry a thousand times sorry I love you I was just in a huge hurry because the cat had to eat/a friend was at the door with heartbreak/I suddenly felt nauseous.’ And then move on with the day.

The Slide

This is a bit of a combination of the Houdini and The Bang and you should only do it if you are wearing smooth shoes. And there must also be a smooth floor. You stand at a central point, shout: ‘Dear people, I AM GOING!‘ And then you put one foot in front of the other and then slide out of the room just like Michael Jackson. By the way, you need to have consumed exactly the right amount of alcohol for this act.

The Bang

I think this one is very suitable for myself. It fits my personality the best. As in, I always want to say goodbye to everyone. You do that with The Bang. How does it work? You find a spot where you stand out. In the middle of the dance floor, on the bar, stand on a chair, you name it, as long as you stand out. Personally, I never find that very difficult. And then it's a matter of shouting: ‘Dear people, I AM GOING!’ And then waving very busily with your sunglasses, your scarf, and your coat and blowing a lot of kisses to the group. With your hand, you know? You just have to act like you are an important editor like me. Or you act like you are in an important movie. No one feels overlooked and moreover, people have had one last good look at you.

The Messenger

Choose a messenger. Someone who informs the rest of the group on your behalf that you are leaving because of the cat, the dog, the kids, the taxi driver, the drinks, or the bartender because he was too handsome and you almost cheated or something. This messenger is of course one of your dearest friends, it should definitely not be someone who is going to gossip behind your back. Tip: try to keep the farewell speech with The Messenger short and clear, otherwise, you will still be busy for hours.

These were the options! Then tonight it's just a matter of choosing and you're gone.