Happy & Healthy
HOW TO BECOME HAPPY
Are you happy, but really? Happiness, it remains vague. You have luck, are happy or not. Sometimes you get cheerful from the little bits (at May's gas station luck I also do a little cheer), but what about the big, all-encompassing happiness? And, pretty important, do you still have a bit of influence on that?
I secretly always look for an even happier version of myself. It's not even a conscious thing, but it is hopelessly awkward. When I subject myself to a happiness study, I end up scolding myself at the end of the song, because what an unsatisfied thunder I am, I say. I have an above-average fun life, with the sweetest boyfriend and a super fun job. You would think that makes you happy, right? I am, but it should just be a notch happier.
It turns out you have some influence on that. At least fifty percent, according to happiness professor Raj Raghunathan. Half of your happiness factor is in your genes, ten percent depends on what you have to endure in life, and forty percent you have in your own hands. Goodness, so it's actually not so strange that I try to be a happier version of myself. That should just be possible.
“If someone says there’s a forty percent chance of wine tonight, I’m in a positive mood.”
What I find dubious are those genes. How unlucky are you if your parents don't have happy genes? That's just unfortunate. But that ten percent also triggers me. Sometimes it seems like life is ‘coming to get ya’ (just think of the day that starts with a splash of coffee on your fresh blouse), but that's just ten percent. Okay, sixty if your parents have thrown a spanner in the works, but forty percent self-management is great. That makes you cautiously happy. If someone says there’s a forty percent chance of wine tonight, I’m in a positive mood.
Super interesting those numbers, but now the practice. Here’s the thing. Measuring yourself against others is a very, very bad idea. Look at what you can achieve yourself. And a successful career and a well-filled wallet are handy, but you become happier if you focus on friends and family. They kick your happiness all the way to the next level. By the way, also stop chasing a prince or princess right away, because you become happier if you give love to the people you do have in your life.
But how then? Well, actually through mindfulness, says the professor. Being kinder to yourself and sometimes just letting all those feelings wash over you, instead of trying to fix a solution. It takes a few years to get the hang of it, but science has proven that this attitude works.
Happiness is weird. I can be crowing with happiness in a new jumpsuit spinning around in front of the mirror, but that doesn’t warm my partner (unless the thing fits phenomenally on my body). He only beams when a boat is planning at too much wind for madam. What makes you happy can ruin me (I would, for example, fall apart over mathematical formulas). But being a bit less strict with yourself, that’s doable and everyone understands that. And that makes us all happy acorns. Wish you all the luck in the world with that.
Source: de Volkskrant
