Happy & Healthy
THE I-FIND-MY-CHILDREN-ANNOYING-AND-WHERE-IS-MY-WINE-TREND
(and 5x how to make it fun)
So I was recently at a birthday party. Of a child. Now, I absolutely dread birthday parties, but yes, every now and then you have to go. I hadn't been to these people's place in a very long time and the moment I was there, I remembered why. She kept hysterically screaming ‘no!’ and ‘guys!’ every time the little legs of the present children quickened their pace to run and rebel, followed by a remarkable eye roll and a muffled scream for wine. And he, he just kept chatting and rambling.
I know it's incredibly trendy to vent about how annoying your children can be. That you could stick them behind the wallpaper. That they are so busy that you never have any me-time. That they knowingly drive you up the wall. And that your husband can go to hell too, who cares! Damn it. And I find that really stupid.
I also understand that your little ones aren't always the cutest peeps on this planet, after all, you aren't either. And I get that sometimes you want to vent. Go ahead, but discuss that stuff with your partner or a good friend, just one-on-one. Very occasionally. Not in public. Definitely not within earshot of those curious little ears of your offspring. And especially not at a party.
“Definitely not within earshot of those curious little ears of your offspring”
Being negative about your own children is neither fun nor cool. You're just dirtying your own nest – not very classy. It gives some attendees a feeling of vicarious embarrassment, but hey, screw them, what I find worse is the message you send to your own children, perhaps unintentionally, but still. Because what are you saying? Well, this actually: ’I find wine more important than you.‘ Because yes, that's the resounding conclusion at the end of all those tirades. That you want wine, and you want it now.
Feeling like being alone? Arrange it. Craving wine? Treat yourself. And stop saying how annoyingly refined your four-year-old is, especially to annoy you. The child is four. Four! All they want is attention, your loving attention. Who can blame her? Hey, and remember this: if you think your child is a cunning little brat that eats into your time for yourself, know that a child is still a product of their upbringing. Rotten kids? No, rotten mother then.
“And stop saying how annoyingly refined your four-year-old is, especially to annoy you”
I have a friend who is great at parenting. She's a bit of a bohemian, and the happiest homemaker I know. I've learned this from her:
1. Digging through your phone and randomly crowing ‘great’ is not really listening. Just put that thing down.
2. Eating is not an agenda item or ‘rush hour’, but something you do together. Messing around and chatting is fine; having a cozy chat at the table and some snacks is a mini-party.
3. Wine? Sure, just do it – a glass every day is also routine. Chips, a block of cheese, and some cucumber, cherry tomatoes, and carrots with dip on the side – and water in a wine glass for junior there – and you have a full-blown snack for everyone.
4. Whoever is tired just marches off to bed with the kids, too bad about the overdue ironing. A sleepover in your bed is of course extra magic.
5. Throwing a fit once in a while is not a disaster. Just make up and sincerely apologize if you were unreasonable. Expect the same in return.
