Sexy Friday

It's a thing: vajayjay tattoos

I just stumbled upon a crazy new trend and I just have to share it with you. Lately, it seems like ‘something’ has to happen down under more and more often. Because just, yes, that is so normal again. So boring. Your pussy has to stay a bit clean, cool and timely.

And that's why ‘vajazzling’ was first introduced, you know, pimping your vagina with rhinestones. There are entire do-it-yourself kits for sale online. Then came the ‘vajacial’ (a facial for your pubic area), but now! Behold the latest trend: vattooing.

Suddenly, I see all these tattooed pussies online. It's a thing, people. Really. Pubic hair is so passé. A bit of a woman shaves everything bare, but jazzes it up with a (va)quirky ink job. A small selection of the vagina tattoos on Instagram? I see chicks with diamonds down under, bees, crowns, Mario figures, tribals, insects, and I just stumbled upon a goat. A GOAT.

”With kind regards from me and the goat. What a hoot.’

So I really see myself going to the tattoo shop, pulling down my thong and saying: “Sir, I want a goat. Yes, there. Yes, I'm sure. Yes, I'm sober, why?” Only to come home and give Sander a stroke. SURPRISE! With kind regards from me and the goat. And then just make sure he doesn't start bleating. What a hoot.

Now don't think that I'm totally against body decorations (read here but), but permanent ink on your pussy just doesn't seem like such a sexy idea to me. Can my vagina and I just grow old peacefully without goats, needles, rhinestones, and trinkets? Thank you kindly.