Fun & Famous
KIKI’S EXPEDITIE ROBINSON-GEBRABBEL
Week 5: Ik hou gewoon van Bartho
Good morning dear Ex-Robbies. Yesterday our favorite show was back on air. Sick and sniffling, I dove behind the screen (the gift of three days of non-stop running, flying, jumping during Fashion Week in Paris), but it was worth it again, you know. This hour of entertainment from celebrities on an island I can still handle on my rough day.
And I keep warning you, before I get spoilers on my roof again. Yes, this little text is about yesterday's episode. And I have a lot to ramble about, and if you’re not in the mood for that, then this your one-way ticket to a nice video. You’ll have to figure out for yourself if your willpower is strong enough to resist that, muahaha. Let’s quickly go through the challenge. It was something like surfing on the water to collect puzzle pieces on the other side of a raft, and half of the Netherlands already felt sorry for team South in the first minute. Furthermore this week: karma is a bitch, almost crying over Bartho, and the feud between JayJay and Suzan keeps simmering. So here we go again: the points we need to discuss this week. Thirteen in total.
1. First of all: I don’t care about rappers (although I do think Lange Frans is really cool), but every year I find ‘the rapper’ from Ex Rob cool. I thought it couldn’t get any better after Polska, Willie Wartaal, and last year Ronnie Flex, but Dio raps about bitterballen. You can do that more often, we like it.
2. Did anyone farmer Bertie hear anything this episode? WE WANT BERTIE BACK.
3. Meanwhile, Lex arrives dryly on loser island, where Elle is not exactly waiting for him with open arms. What do we call that? It’s karma, bitch.
4. When Dave signed the contract with Ex Rob, he secretly fiddled with the fine print that his hairdresser would jump out of the bushes when the need arises. Come on, everyone’s hair looks terrible and he’s been walking around for almost four episodes with a perfectly styled Justin Bieber lock. How is this possible?
5. God, I’m sorry. The irritation over Chloé’s voice remains. “I WAS NOT JAMES BOND ON THAT RAFT.” No. Just. No. Ssssst.
6. Congratulations, makers of the show, you did it again. So I think during the teaser for every commercial break: now the bomb is really going to explode between JayJay and Suzan. When the piece finally comes, I want to scream “JERRY, JERRY!!” from the couch, it’s already over after 30 seconds of fake irritation. Do you know that? Come on, don’t say you weren’t a little disappointed…
7. Am I the only one who finds Thomas a bit, meh, yes, boring? Are you going to surprise us next week? At least make a nice joke or something? The joke about skipping the challenge to work on a performance with Dio could have been better.
8. Also a point to mention: Kraantje de voorste Pappie and (Va)Jayjay need to quickly come up with a plan B to survive in the group, I think. Because this isn’t going well, gentlemen.
9. We all secretly knew it, but Dave confirmed it himself. Yes, HE was the little brat at school who never studied for his exams and still got away with okay grades. # cheating scenes
10. And then you open the TUI website, and suddenly you see Bertie’s camp passing by among the sun vacations. For 400 euros per night, she’ll even make you a fresh cassava breakfast. As a special service, a free horse tattoo around the navel is also an option. Great this.
11. Call it patriotism at its peak, but I’m still so intensely satisfied that we kicked those Belgians out of the show. Evi was quite nice, but her way of saying the word expedition (expediiiiiiiieeesiieeeee)? Come on, that gave us a bit of the chills. Hope you’re doing well, Evi, really.
12. By the way, I don’t know if being sick makes you more susceptible to emo stuff, but I was on the verge of tears during Bartho’s execution. Anna had a hard time too.
13. Oh dear, and that face when he hears there’s a plan B. Those sparkling bead eyes combined with that sincere smile + that cute gray stubble beard. I wish everyone a Bartho Braat in their life. Maybe even two.
