Happy & Healthy

Mosquito bite suffering

Almost the entire editorial team is in the Amsterdam regions, but I live deep in Brabant (just in case you need to be resuscitated now, read here for a moment why living outside The City has its advantages). But now there is one big disadvantage, because there is a mosquito plague.

Do you know what by far the worst place is for a mosquito bite? The bottom of your foot. You can't get a cross in with your nail, you can just wipe it off and it seems like it itches extra there. Last week I was overwhelmed by an army of mosquitoes, armed to the teeth. Where from? Out of nowhere, just like that, into my living room. Well, believe me, now my hands can suddenly wave. They are already flailing around in the summer because I am terrified of anything that buzzes, is capable of biting or stinging, and walks the streets in black and yellow. “But they are more afraid of you, you are bigger.” I know, but still I dash across the terrace when I spot one. Not very brave.

The mosquito experts (yes, they exist) and I have some tricks to keep those buzzers outside. Small warning, mine might be a bit less responsible.

– Roll yourself in a layer of Deet before you close the shutters. Preferably one that is thirty or forty percent. Yes, that's something different than the usual rolling around on a date. Expert tip: hold your breath for about a minute after rolling.

– Make sure you don't have watering cans, buckets, empty wine bottles, or anything else with stagnant water near your house. They lay eggs in there (about 300 at a time, yes three-hun-dred), they hatch and there you have them again.

– Let the mosquito bite (not my idea). Once the mosquito in question has feasted on your blood, you are no longer such a feast. It is also true that some people have tastier blood than others, it’s in the sweetness of your blood.

– Get all the fans out of the closet because mosquitoes absolutely hate (hah) wind. Position them at the foot of your bed and create a nice mosquito-free breeze.

– Keep windows and doors closed. Never, ever turn on the light when the window is open. Burn citronella candles (you can shop them at Xenos) and place them in a circle around yourself. This looks a bit airy, but then they float nicely out the window. And if that little jerk is still inside? Kill it (sorry animal friends).