THE BIG VIBRATOR QUESTIONNAIRE

This is what you need to know when buying that pleasure stick for the first time

Dildos, We-Vibes, vibrators, rabbit ears... The world of toys is quite a complicated matter. What do you buy for the best orgasms? And where? And how? Therefore: all the answers to your vibrator questions. It’s about damn time.

What types of vibrators are there?
That’s the nice thing about vibrators: they come in all shapes and sizes. Most are shaped like a penis (very practical), but there are also fun variations in the shape of bunnies (à la Sex and the City), dolphins, mini lipsticks, phone cases (!) and all sorts of imaginative shapes.

How do I know which shape suits me?
Depending on what you want to achieve, you choose the shape. Vibrators with a straight end work well for stimulating your clitoris and are also nice to use with a second person in the game. Want to stimulate your G-spot? Then you’re looking for a model with a curved end.

How much does it cost?
Compare it to a nice bag: for a decent brand, you’ll have to spend a bit more money. The more expensive you go, the more settings you have. But: you also don’t want to be disappointed with your first vibrator purchase, I get that. Still, you’ll pay at least 50 euros for a decent dildo. Especially if you want three to five different settings, which is immediately a good ‘entry model’. If you pay less for a plastic thing, the chance of less pleasure is quite present.

What if you’re alone, feel like it, but have no vibrator nearby?
Well, I’m not going to name names (that would be something, guys), but someone whispered to me that they once used the back of an electric toothbrush while traveling. And that apparently works quite well. Really. Make sure to clean it well beforehand, use a shitload of lubricant (muy importante), and also, eh, clean it really well afterward.

Does a vibrator make you lazy?
Some claim it does. It was just shouted here: “Yes! A vibrator is like a high-speed train that goes VROOM over your clit, making you come way too quickly. The longer the build-up to the orgasm, the better.” If you reach for your toys every night, I think it also becomes difficult to ‘fix’ the deal without help at some point. But occasionally having fun with yourself and a toy can’t hurt, you know.

Where do you get those things?
Online, there are dozens of sites where you can find toys. Check out the site of Christine le Duc, Pabo, Willie, and even on Bol.com you’ll find dozens of vibrators. Nice and anonymous and easy. Still, you might be better off stepping into a sex shop. If necessary, with your bestie on your arm for some moral support. Those sellers are often super nice and give you tips that you wouldn’t come up with in a million years.

Can’t you try it out first?
Is it normal to pull your pants down in a sex shop? No. What you can do? It might sound a bit weird, but hold the vibrator up to your nose. There are a lot of nerves there, and you’ll get a pretty good idea of how strong the vibrations are. You wouldn’t have thought of that, right? No, me neither.

Any more pressing vibrator questions that aren’t here? Well, I’m not the hardest to reach. Email me at kiki@amayzine.com and I’ll see if I have the answer for you. Who knows, there might be a vibratorrrrrr questionnaire 2.0.