Fun & Famous
YET 9 DONALD TRUMP QUOTES
A promise is a debt: with fifty likes I would subject another nine remarkable Donald Trump quotes to an inspection. I went all in, so here we go, the nine from the man who can do it all:
‘One of the big problems today is that politics is such an enormously disgraceful spectacle. Good people don’t get into government.’
A rare moment of self-reflection. Or is this going to be about ‘the others’ again?
‘Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. Completely understandable why her ex-husband left her for a man – that was a good decision.’
Tell ’m Trumpie! Career women are tough bitches. Doesn’t that also give you an impossible limp dick? (Trump always has lovely things to say about successful prominent women, but this remark about the founder of the online magazine The Huffington Post is in a nutshell his infallible view on women: better tits than brains. And if you do have them – those brains, not those tits – then use them to run a logistically powerful household.)
‘I have so many fantastic friends who just happen to be gay, but I am a conservative.’
Hmm, ex of Ariana Huffington, it seems you’re not going to be added to Donald Trump’s pack of excuse gays. Because he ‘has’ a gay already. One he doesn’t actually need. Do you guys feel that too a bit or am I crazy?
‘The only difference between me and the other candidates is that I am more honest and that my women are prettier.’
It is indeed fair to emphasize that you own a harem. Major disappointment: women are not things you can own. Only your honesty remains.
‘The point is: you can never be greedy enough.’
The beauty of the moment when you realize that your raison d'être is a brilliant campaign slogan.
‘My Twitter is so powerful that I can actually force my enemies to tell the truth.’
Um, I think you’re slightly overestimating the power of the digital village pump, Donald. It’s just not quite like you’re face to face with the double-barreled shotgun with which a farmer chases the vermin off his property.
‘Look at my hands: are these small hands? My rival Marco Rubio referred to my hands when he said: “If those are small, then something else must be small too.” Well, I guarantee there is really no problem. I guarantee that.’
And I guarantee that if Donald Trump makes one more comment about the mythical proportions of his genitals, there will be someone who forces him via Twitter to tell the truth about the contents of his pants.
‘I have never seen a slim person drink Diet Coke.’
And I have never seen someone with a supposed thin dick drink Diet Coke either! Oh. Well. You.
(Donald is not down with obesity. And Light drinks are to blame for everything according to him. A bit silly to then post a photo of yourself on Twitter with a poorly hidden bottle of Diet Coke under the table.)
‘Sorry, there’s no STAR on stage tonight!’
Star reporter Trump beats the hyper-powerful Twitter live the political debate between the Democrats. Or does he think we’re watching an episode of Holland’s Got Talent instead of the battle for who will be the next POTUS?
