Fun & Famous
THE 10 FUNNIEST QUOTES FROM ELLEN DEGENERES
Ellen is downright the most entertaining woman I know. Well, know, know... No, we didn't play marbles together as kids, but from the number of hours I've spent watching her, I can conclude that there is certainly a close bond. By the way, I suddenly wonder if stalkers think like that too.
Anyway, if there were an Oscar for sarcasm, Ellen would definitely have it sitting by her fireplace. And that's why I can't live with myself if I don't list her best quotes at least once for you.
Well, in English, because that's still the most fun. Here they come:
1. “Why don’t they give us things we can actually use? I don’t need a thinner phone. You know what I need? I need a tortilla chip that can support the weight of guacamole!”
2. “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.”
3. “My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The piña and the colada.”
4. “Just go up to somebody on the street and say “You’re it!” and just run away.”
5. “In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.”
6. “I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I’m just like “shut up, shut up, shut up…blah blah blah blah blaaaaah.”
7. “My dog of 17 years just died. ‘Oh you’re kidding?’… ‘Noooo…as funny as that is, I’m not.”
8. “I was coming home from kindergarten – well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It’s good for a kid to know how to make gloves.”
9. “You are never too old to play. You are only too old for low-rise jeans.”
10. “Yeah [I’m thirty-six], but on the show I’m thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.”
This woman. Really. Ellen, I love you. Oh and, check here for the funniest videos from The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Ellen is downright the most entertaining woman I know. Well, know, know... No, we didn't play marbles together as kids, but from the number of hours I've spent...
