Fun & Famous

SHIT THAT WE'RE MISSING THE EURO? IT'S NOT THAT BAD, REALLY.

No, we won't be there. And that's not okay, according to Wolter Kroes, my friend and a lot of others. The European Championship has to go on without Orange. But, as Johan Cruyff you know: every disadvantage has its advantage. Yes, really.

The advantages of missing the Euro:

1. Bye bye, fakers

This is definitely the BIGGEST irritation point: overenthusiastic fake football fans who have zero understanding of it, but act like they suddenly care a lot. Just check Facebook and Twitter during a match. I swear: one in three people participates, even people who never watch football. A Euro without Orange filters out those fakers. Only the real enthusiasts remain.

2. Bye bye, junk

No wuppies, welpies, vuvuzelas or other nonsense and Euro junk. Or kids in front of barriers when you walk out of the supermarket. And that, my friend Wolter, is fine. More than fine.

3. Bye bye, canteen duty

If you're really unlucky with the Euro, the entire local football team of your partner gets summoned to sit on your couch and you serve as the canteen lady with beer and bitterballen. Yikes.

4. Bye bye, vacation stress

Because you wouldn't believe how many men plan their vacations around those matches, no problemo.

5. Bye bye, arguments

Because your partner is irritated and nail-biting in front of the TV and you spit out slogans like: ‘Darling, just calm down, it's just a game’ after which he looks at you with a gaze that instantly makes you wonder if this is now NSB behavior.

6. Bye bye, hangover

Because secretly, out of nerves, you've also had a glass of white or a bit too much. Oh, and your throat stays spared. Just like Gerard Joling's, Dries Roelvink's, and other noisy singers trying to make money with one bad football song after another. Pure profit, I'm telling you. Bye bye, Euro.