Fun & Famous

The 17 men on your To-Do List

Last week, Esquire posted a list on their website of 31 women that you, as a man, should/could/want to have ‘done’. We heartily laughed at 28 types, 3 were actually really unacceptable. Jan Kooijman even found it so bad that he distanced himself from the magazine, nominated for an Esquire Award, distanced himself from the magazine. Very sympathetic of our Jan, but don't underestimate us women. We also know how to handle men and lists. At the request of EditieNL, your editors made our flashy variant.

1. The gardener with green fingers

Sexy, strong, à la Desperate Housewives. And in the evening cuddling by the fireplace with self-chopped firewood. And then with his nose in the reeds and his tongue in the ditch. Sorry, very dirty joke.

2. The little rascal

He probably says ‘they said’, still drinks a Red Bull now and then, and has dropped ‘something’ from the truck. He may have been out of sight for a moment, but will defend you with his life and his favorite hobby is to drag you around all corners of the room. He only has to go to the gym once that day, not twice.

3. The rather mature but very experienced man

For your tax return, you need to go to him, for the it's-all-going-to-be-okay talk, and okay, he can also pay the bill for your seven-course dinner. And he knows his skills. Maybe you should occasionally braid hair with his daughter who is the same age as you, but hey, that's also an experience.

4. The man you should have just stayed friends with

And yes, now you regret it. And you've lost your friend because the cocktail of friendship and sex is still not in order and after that, there's no turning back.

5. The bartender

You're definitely not the only one hanging at his tap, but hey, you know that. It's always a party. Except for that one time you had to go to the GGD.

6. The beard/bun type

Even if it's just because of the high cuddle factor. A man with a beard/bun is a good basic package. Add some glasses and you have a semi-intellectual, a beanie, and your personal hipster is born, and with tattoos, you immediately have a tough guy.

7. The model

With him, you want to hit the streets, only post ussies on your Instagram account, and go to the supermarket seventeen times a week and then drop that baguette in your basket on your prettiest little patch. By the way, don't complain if he snatches that last carrot from under your nose and eats the quinoa salad again.

8. The realtor

He's crispy, has healthy red cheeks, always in the mood for a beer, and as a bonus, he secretly takes you to all the pre-viewings.

9. The cargo bike dad

Of course, in a separated state, but he has proven to be loving and caring (the cargo bike is the proof) and some women seem to be really into that...

10. The back-up guy

Who do you call when it's over with your boyfriend? Exactly. When you feel like a night of kissing without having to send obligatory follow-up texts the next day? Exactly. You both know it will never become anything and that's exactly how you wanted it.

11. The powerful player

With a yacht in Saint-Tropez, a regular table at Costes in Paris, and if your Thalys is delayed, he just rents a private jet. No problem. Don't expect marital fidelity or marriage in community of property. Haha, the idea.

12. Your boss

Something with a forbidden fruit. And a photocopier. Assuming in a very non-emancipated way that your boss is a man. And in case of great emancipation; you can always do a Samantha and become a part-time lesbian, right?

13. The physiotherapist

Such a type that you would almost fake an injury for. Especially for you, he also massages under the little songs.

14. The surf boy

In the days after, you still fish the sand grains out of your string, but it was worth it. May also mentions the Sonny Crockett variant who lives on a yacht, how sexy was that? Don't expect an email full of hearts from the beach in Costa Rica every day. Surfers live by the principle: where the wind takes us and as the wind blows, so blows the skirt. Moreover, he always has the excuse of bad wifi.

15. The DJ

Don't think here either that you're the only one, but access to all the cool parties? Check. And he's really good at making tunes. Silly.

16. The poet

First sitting for hours in a café doing a bit of literary stuff and then whispering all kinds of philosophical phrases in your ear that you actually don't understand, but that have the desired effect. Is the pun ear-gasm too easy?

17. The Dave Roelvink

A.k.a. a cocktail of points 2, 5, 7, and 15. Actually, it really shouldn't be, but sorry, just a case of too handsome, too wrong, and too attractive.